Another Life and Then Some
by phoenixstitch
Summary: AU/futurefic set after S5. Buffy while doing a spell to get info to defeat Glory switches with her future self and wakes up to a very different Spike and future than she had imagined.
1. Default Chapter

Another Life

Another Life, And Then Some   
by Phoenixstitch 

This was began in February, and I didn't get too far. But now that the reruns are over, and we are getting the new episode "Forever" what I had been writing finally clicked into place. This will also have elements of "Intervention", "Tough Love," and spoilers I had seen on the boards—true, or not for the end of the season. This is a Spike becomes human instead of Angel, time shifting, and maybe AU fic with my own ideas of how the season is going to end, and possible future outcomes for the different characters. The music lyrics are from "Tempest" by VNV Nation 1999. All usual disclaimers apply to the Buffy universe—just borrowing, and putting the characters back eventually. I'm going to rate this PG-17, or if you can watch the show then you can read this.  
  
Part 1

"Mommy, Mommy wake up," said the child's voice with a hint of worry as she shook her mother. "Daddy wants you. He's says it's time to go," the little golden haired girl told her seriously as Buffy groggily opened her eyes.

"Huh? Who are you?" Buffy managed to ask as she put a hand to her throbbing forehead, and tried to sit up, but had to lay back down because she was sick of her stomach, and dizzy.

"You're silly, Mommy. You know who I am?" the little girl giggled from in front of her as Buffy tried to get her eyes opened, and focused. It still wasn't working too well.

Okay, this kid keeps calling me _Mommy'_ , so I'll play along so I can find out what is going on,' Buffy thought to herself trying to get a handle on what was happening, and most importantly why. "_'Mommy'_ isn't quite in here, so you have to tell me," Buffy replied, the effort of talking almost making her pass out again. She felt like she had been run over by a Mack truck, and then some. She hurt all over and could barely move, what the hell had happened to her now?' she wondered, stifling a groan of pain.

"I'm Desiree, don't you know me?" the child asked, her voice becoming scared. The little pigtailed girl in lavender coveralls, and a matching lavender shaded tie-dyed T shirt, who appeared to be about five or six, was chewing on her lower lip worriedly. Her bright blue eyes regarded the woman before her laying on the blanket on grass of the park as almost a stranger now. There was something very wrong with her Mommy'—she didn't even feel right. "Daddy will be here soon. He had to take Destry to the little boy's room," she added, which didn't clear up Buffy's confusion, it only increased it. 

"I see," Buffy said giving her a faint smile, her mind still trying to grasp what was going on, and how she had gotten where ever she was. She looked over to the little girl sitting on the blanket with her now. Yes, the child did look like her, and someone else too. The familiarity of the features was tugging at her memory of where she knew those cheekbones, and that chin from. Then the girl had the oddest accent. She was still puzzling on it when she heard footsteps, and then there was a small body landing on her.

"Mommy's up!" said the small bundle of energy that had landed on what Buffy realized now was a very large stomach—a very large pregnant stomach as she looked down.

"Cor', Destry, get yourself off your Mum. She doesn't need you to be climbing all over her, do you, luv?" said the voice from behind her, and Buffy immediate froze, panic stricken—Spike? What the hell? These were hers, and Spike's kids? What the hell was going on?' she asked herself to turn to see a grinning, Spike wrestling with his son since the boy had gotten off of her, and had gone to play with his father. Except it wasn't quite the Spike she was used to seeing since his hair was no longer bleached out, and was natural looking, a soft light golden brown, and slightly curly. He was also tanned, and sitting with them all in direct sunlight like it was the most natural thing in the world. Buffy could have fainted from the sheer shock of it all.

"Spi—ke?" she managed to sputter, her eyes wide.

He looked at her and frowned. "That's not a name I've heard you call me in a while, luv. It's just Will now," he said looking at her as he set their son down, who looked amazing like a miniature version of his father with the same hair, and slender build. "Are you feeling all right, pet?" he asking getting up, and coming over to her. 

"No, I'm not. How did I get here, and where am I?" she asked, getting more, and more afraid, and confused especially when he took her hand, and she could feel it was human warm.

"That must have been some nasty blow to the head you took. Worse than I thought. Destry didn't mean to hit you. But to answer your question, we're just in the park. You thought a bit of fresh air would do us all good, seeing it's first warm winter's day we've had in a while," he said concerned, his hand feeling her forehead to see if she was running a temperature.

"We're still in Sunnydale?" Buffy asked trying to sit up, and see if anything looked familiar. Though sitting up by herself was proving difficult, and Spike had to help her.

"Yes, luv, we are," he answered puzzled at her strange questions. "Buffy, what's wrong with you? It's like you don't know us," her husband said worriedly, love and concern in his deep blue eyes.

"Something has happened. I'm not supposed to be here," Buffy told him truthfully. "You're not supposed to be alive—you're supposed to a vampire, and you and I aren't together, and WE don't have kids. What year is this?" she asked, watching the shock register on his handsome, mortal face.

"2007, and you don't remember any of this?" he asked, and saw her shake her head no' then he nodded mysteriously. "She said this would happen," he told her getting a funny look on his handsome, but subtly older face as his mind had run through possibilities, and everything had suddenly clicked into place. Making a decision he told her, "Come on luv, we've got to get you to Giles, and get this put right," he sighed, standing up and helping her get to her feet.  
  
"So, you know what has happened?" Buffy asked relieved as she got to her feet unsteadily.

"Aye, luv, I do. You, and younger self have switched places for a time. This is your future—_our future, our life together_," he told her, delighting a little in her shocked expression. "You, my dear sweet Slayer are now my wife, and these are our kids, he said proudly, putting a hand on her bulging belly that decided to kick fiercely in response to his touch.

"Ohh, wow," Buffy said in sheer wonder, feeling the new life of their unborn child in her move around. "These are ours? You are Spike, aren't you?" Buffy had to ask.

He laughed, his blue eyes tinkling amusedly at her astonishment . "Yes, my love, I am, but I've gone back to being William again. Spike just didn't seem to fit anymore once I became mortal again. That's the past, and this here is the future. The only future that I ever really wanted with you even back then," he said meaningfully, looking at with such love, and wanting in his eyes that Buffy thought she was going to melt into a puddle right there.

"Back then?" she questioned, shocked. "As in _when?_'" she asked, frightened now as she was not speaking to Spike since she uninvited him.

"Since before I got the bloody chip, and then my feelings for you kind grew over the months. But you didn't want to believe it, couldn't accept that even after old soldier boy left, and Joyce, your Mum, died. It took this coming into the future, and seeing what could be to change your mind. That's why I'm not surprised to see you, luv, as I knew this day would come. It had to for everything to work out the way it's supposed to. When you go back you'll have the knowledge you need to fight Glory, and also start looking at me in a whole different way. Or a least I hope so, _otherwise none of this will be_—_they won't be_," Will told her pointing to the two young children crashing each other in a game of tag while their parents talked.

"Yeah, I see your point," she said watching the two giggling children with longing and then looking back at their father, and letting herself feel for him. "So we're really married, and you're really human now?"

He smiled, his eyes sparkling with joy and pride, "yes, almost six years now, and they've been the happiest of my life because I'm with you. The Powers That Be did this after our battle with Glory when I almost lost you. That I was willing to sacrifice my life for yours, Dawn's, and the Scoobies to keep Glory from taking over our world, showed them I was worth saving even though we both died that day on the battle field. But they brought us both back, and made me human again. It was because we did love one another that we were able to fight, and save the day. And you chose me over Angel, who also got his humanity back at the same time I did. He's still a bit upset about that, but now he's got Faith, and Willow now to take care of. We almost lost them both too that day. We did lose the wolf, and the other witch, and the soldier boy," he told her turning, and gathering up their picnic things hoping he wasn't screwing things up by telling her all this, but he knew that past Buffy hadn't remembered any of this, so it must be okay.

"Oz, Tara, and Riley are gone?" Buffy asked in a weak voice, feeling faint but managing to hold it together.

"Yes, I'm sorry, luv. They fought bravely trying to protect your sis until it was time for her to be the Key', and do what she was created to do. She was magnificent---you will be so proud of her."

"Dawn survived?" Buffy asked, hopefully.

"Yes, but just barely. It was real touch, and go for her, but she managed to recover finally. She was determined to keep the world we love from being destroyed, and taken over by Glory, and she did it. It was her destiny, just like yours had been to be a slayer. You're still a slayer. The Powers didn't take that away from you, but you're retired now, and there's a new slayer doing your job," he told her, straightening up.

"And Faith? Is she?" Buffy had to ask.

"She's retired too. She works with Angel investigations in LA."

"Sounds like there has been lots of changes. And Xander?" she asked since he hadn't mentioned him, and Anya.

"He, and Anya work for Giles at the new shop. The old one got destroyed during the battle, so they had to get another shop, and start over. They now have twin boys, and Anya is expecting again. Faith, and Angel have a daughter too. Then there's Willow's son."

"Willow has a son?" Buffy asked confused trying to understand all the pair ups.

"By Oz before he died. A parting gift of love before the final battle. She almost died having him, especially since she's paralyzed from the waist down now. He's her whole world. His name is Julian Ozwald Rosenburg, and they live with Angel, and Faith, along with Cordelia, and Wesley, and their son, and daughter. Angel says he's glad he bought a hotel at least he's got room for the daycare center they have going with everyone's offspring."

"Wow, we've all been very busy it seems," Buffy smiled, putting a hand over her large stomach.

"That we have, my pet. Making up for lost time, now that the world has time again," he grinned proudly.

"And what to do we do in this _future'_ world?" she had to ask as she watched him grab hold of his son, and made sure that Desiree' was following them as they headed for their car, which was a nice large black SRV parked on the side of the road.

"Me, I'm a professor of History, and Mythology at UCA Sunnydale, and you, my dear wife, teach Physical Education. Except right now you're on maternity leave. You did manage to get your degree, and we both were going to school for awhile. Since I found myself mortal—_I had to do something._ Willow helped a bunch with creating a real background, and an identity for me. Then I took real teaching classes to make it authentic looking as well for the actual experience of dealing with students. It was either teach, or work with Giles, and Xander at the shop. And we both turned down Angel's offer of working as consultants for Angel Investigations though we do keep in touch with everyone," he told her as they got the kids into the car, and strapped them into their seats before he helped her climb in and get settled. Then he got in the driver's side.

"So you're a teacher, and I am too?" Buffy asked, still taking it all in.

"Yeah. That's what I had planned on being before Angelus and Dru came into my life. Thought I'd have a go at it again for you, and the young ones. And I really didn't feel like being a shopkeeper. Though you and I do hold classes at the shop on weapons, and martial arts. Getting rid of Glory did not mean getting rid of all the demons and nasties," he told her.

"So we're still fighting?"

"Every once in a while, but mainly it's the junior Scoobies we've trained that keep things safe around here now, and we've also been training groups to fight in other parts of the world here. It's part of the new Watcher's Group we helped formed after another Hell demon demolished the Council headquarters in 2003. There wasn't too much of the Council left, and since it was proven that Giles' methods were effective in stopping Glory, and the new threat he was made head of the new group. Now Slayers, and Watchers are trained here along with mages, and witches to work with the new slayers before they are sent out into the world," Will went on to explain as he started the car and they drove to the shop.

Buffy was reeling from the changes that had taken place. The Old Council was gone, and Giles was in charge of the new one. At least some very good things had come out of the battle.

They drove through a slightly newer looking, but a not vastly different Sunnydale than Buffy had remembered. There were a few changes here, and there, though for the most part it was same old same old as before. The most notable was that the remains of the High School were finally gone, and in it's place was large free standing building complex on top of the location of the Hellmouth. "The New Magic Box," Will announced pulling around back, and parking. "We all thought it would be a good idea to claim the property to make sure no one else had access to it, especially after fighting Glory emphasized that this spot should not stay unguarded," he added in explaination.

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea," Buffy agreed, looking around curiously as Will got out, and helped the kids out who she was finding were amazingly well behaved.

Buffy took Desiree' hand, and they followed Will, and Destry into the back door entrance of the shop. It was a lot slicker, and larger than the previous incarnation of the shop had been though similar in set up and layout.

"Ahh, Will, those books you were inquiring about arrived today," Giles said in welcome as they entered the shop itself. Xander, and Anya were at the counter helping a customer while Giles was at a large study table similar to the old one they used to have at the other shop.

"Good, thanks for ordering them. Any trouble getting them through customs?" Spike asked letting his son loose, and the two children went over to a play area off to the side where two identical dark haired boys close to Desiree' age looked up happily at their arrival. Those must be Xander's boys, Buffy thought looking at them, seeing that they did take after their father.

"No, no problem. Though Theos was wondering why you wanted them," Giles said, looking up at him. He was definitely older looking, his hair was almost completely shot with gray, and there was a nasty scare above his right eye that hadn't been there before. 

"Just something I wanted to check on regarding the Phineas Codex material. It's better to be safe than sorry. Besides, the books there's another reason we are here," Will warned him before continuing, and Giles looked up expectantly at him. "It's happened. We have past Buffy, not my Buffy, and she's a bit confused about what is going on," Spike told him looking back to Buffy who had remained standing just watching everyone.

"I see," Giles said a bit shook as he too looked back at the pregnant ex-slayer. "I take it you have filled her in on what has happened over the years?" the Watcher questioned, nervously fettling with his glasses a habit he couldn't seem to break.

Will sighed, "as much as I've dared to. All in all she has been taking this calmer than I had expected she would. I still question this tampering with time, and sending her back with knowledge of what is to be."

"But that knowledge saved our lives, without it all that is now will not be. Your Buffy told us that, and was prepared for the consequences. She knew what had to be played out, and what couldn't be stopped."

"Yes, but it is still going to be painful for both of them," he said meaningfully, wishing that he could spare the younger Buffy from the trials she would be having to undergo once she was restored to her time line once again.

"Yes, it will be but we must do what we must," he said to the younger man and former vampire before turning to his slayer. "Buffy, come here," Giles asked her.

And the slayer did cautiously, and with a little fear still trying to attune herself to this new world of being a mother, and wife to her former mortal enemy. "Yes, Giles. Sp—William said you can explain what is going on," she asked hopefully.

"Sit down, child. There is no necessity for you to be so formal with me. This I know is quite a shock to you being here. But it is necessary because of the knowledge you must carry back with you to help in your fight with Glory. You see the knowledge to fight the Goddess did not exist in your time. It is only now that it has been uncovered, and sent to us. Part of this was safekeeping by the Powers That Be, so the knowledge could be used. You were chosen as the vessel to travel between worlds, and time periods. You are here because you collapsed mentally, and emotionally after Glory took Dawn. Willow and I had to try, and bring you back. Right at this point in time you are in a deep coma in your time, and when you recover this will seem as just a dream, or a figment of the coma, except for the knowledge you will be bringing back with you," Giles explained to a very confused Buffy.

"I see," Buffy said, not sure about any of this. "And how am I going to get this knowledge back. Let's face it Giles I am not exactly a memory master—I mean I'm not real good at the mystical magic bits," she told them honesty, looking from one to the other worriedly.

"We have a way to do it. The information is already in the Dogon sphere. It is the words and the knowledge of how to use it, and how to trigger the key when its energy is ready to be used that we will impart to you," Giles explained.

"I take it this will involve magic? Is that such a great thing considering my current condition?" she asked worriedly, her hand protectively on her stomach.

"It is part of your child's destiny according to the Powers That Be," Giles reassured her. "It will not harm her," he added, ignoring Will's frown at his words.

"Another girl, I take it?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, a very special girl," he told her, and she looked pleased. Giles continued, "We were not expecting you for two more days, according to what you told my past self when you got back to your present. You have come early somehow. The ritual to give you the knowledge, and to send you back is to be done on the first night of the full moon which is two days from now. So I guess we must simply wait until then. I am hoping that you are not finding this all too disquieting," Giles asked her.

"It is all very strange. Like it's all some sort of very weird dream. Not a bad weird dream though," she said with a smile, looking up at Spike/Will then over to their children playing with Xander and Anya's two boys.   
  
"Good. You were rather strange for a number of days after you returned from this visit as I recall. And for the most part you did not talk too much about it to everyone for fear of changing the outcome," Giles told her.

"Yeah, I probably will be if I remember all of this. So what do I do until I go back? I feel real strange taking over someone's life and body, even if it is my own," she asked them both.

Just then Desiree came running to her with tears in her eyes. "Mommy, Jessie took Kermit away from me," she complained.

Buffy looked up to Will for clues on what to tell her as she gathered the little girl to her. "You want to handle this one?" she asked, and he nodded, going over to the play area to talk to Xander's son, and motioning Xander to join him. "Your Daddy will fix it," Buffy reassured the little girl who had stopped crying to watch her father walk away. Giles had left to go talk to Anya leaving Buffy, and her future oldest daughter alone.

"Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you know me now?" she asked hopefully, studying her carefully.

"I'm better, but I'm still not myself'," Buffy told the little almost miniature of herself truthfully. 

"You need to be _you'_ again, but I can wait. You're not my mommy—_you are different,_" the little girl said with a frown furrowing her forehead, pouting.

"Yeah, I am. But until your mommy comes back, can I be your mommy?" Buffy asked, smiling back hoping she was reassuring her. Finding herself being a automatic mother was a decidedly strange experience and Buffy was trying to handle this as best as she could since she didn't have a clue how to act, or do mommy things with little children.

"Guess so," Desiree' answered, giving her a cautious shy look, and a slight smile as she scuffed the toe of her pink tennis shoe against the floor trying to understand what had happened to her real mommy, not that this one wasn't _okay_, still she could sense that this was not the woman she knew, and loved everyday. 

Xander by that time had come up to them after talking with his son. Will had taken him aside, and clued him in on what was going on. He was notably shook finding out what had happened, and like everyone that now knew he had had to go back to the memories of that time to remember what had happened. "So you're the Buffy from the past?" he asked.

End Part 1

******************************************************************************************

Part 2

  
Buffy could see the changes in Xander. There was a calmness, a sense of self assurance that hadn't been present all the way in the dark eyes of the Xander she had known. He had grown up, matured, like they all seemed to have grown up since the battle, and becoming parents. "Yeah, I guess so. You've really changed. You look all respectable now. Nice kids," she told him, smiling at the two dark haired boys that were identical in looks, but decided different in temperament. One was clearly easy going while the other was a bit more mischievous, and liked to tease his playmates. Almost like each boy was a reflection of different parts of Xander's own personality.

"Thanks. Jake, and Jessie tend to be a handful sometimes." He told Buffy and then turned to the waiting little girl, and spoke to her, "Des', Jessie wants to apologize to you for taking Kermit, so you go back over there, and play, okay?" he asked Buffy's daughter, and she nodded, and went back over to the play area. 

They watched as the offending twin did as he had been told to do under the watchful eyes of the parents, and handed the green frog figure back to the girl with an apology. Desiree then went over to her own corner to play with the frog, and other Muppet characters and dolls she had sitting at the table. While Jessie went to go join Jake, and Destry building things out of Legos. The shop was very much kid friendlier than it had been and the whole atmosphere seemed happier, and more people friendly than it had when it had started.

Seeing that things between the kids were calm for the moment he turned back to Buffy. "Jessie and Des' tend to get into arguments a lot. This is all pretty normal for them," he reassured her. "So, you finding the future pretty different than what you expected it would be?" he inquired, with a lifted eyebrow as he took a seat by her.

"Way different. Me—Spike—kids—yeah, it's a real shocker. You, and Anya, no. I knew you two would finally get together, but me and Spike? No way," she said in low tones as her husband started wandering back their way.

"Ohh, I knew it. I think that's why I was so jealous of him after Riley left. I knew you two had it bad for one another, but you were the one that couldn't see it, or admit it to yourself. It took a number of things and this little trip to see the possibilities, and to see that you did have a future, and hope. That was something you didn't have too much of after your mom died."  
  
"No, I didn't," she admitted, the memories of her mother's death were still fresh and raw in her mind.

Will had come over, and heard the conversation about her mom, and hoped that wouldn't set this Buffy off. For her this was still a very raw, and new wound. Sometimes Harris just didn't think, and also didn't know Buffy as well as he thought he did. "I think the kids will behave now," Will told them, steering the conversation onto safer waters. 

"Good," she told him grateful for his changing the subject. "So where's Dawn? If she survived too, where is she?" Buffy asked having expected to see her sister already.

"The Dawnmeister? Probably still at classes, or on campus. She's in her sophomore year at the college. And she has a boyfriend—Cullen," Xander told her not too enthusiastically looking to Will for help in explaining.

Buffy looked back and forth between the two, and knew something was up. "Okay, give. What's wrong with Dawn's boyfriend? He's not a vampire is he?" she asked.

"No, not a vampire. But he is other worldly. He's _elven_. He showed up about two years ago on some personal quest, and stayed. He's going to school with her, and trying to fit into normal human life for the most part. He helps with some of the big magicks we occasionally still have to do since we lost Tara, and Amy, and Willow is in LA. Anya can do some things, but her power has not been fully restored yet. We did get out of him that Whistler sent him to both learn, and to help us out, and the new slayer, Charity," Xander explained to her.

"He's an elf?" Buffy questioned, picturing some short tiny little guy.

"Elven, luv, there is a big bit of difference. He's like six-four, kind of like that David Bowe guy in _"Labyrinth"_. He and Dawn have been kind of inseparable since they met. Which has caused an number of fights between you two since you don't seem to like the guy," Will explained. 

"I don't huh? But Whistler says he's okay?" Buffy asked, wondering why she would be upset at Dawn's boyfriend other than he was not human, and normal, but it also seemed to be the Summer's women's fate to fall for not normal guys.

"Yeph, part of some new deal with the PTB. So you put up with him," Will told her with a slight grin, remembering when she had put up with him, but they hadn't known that the PTB had plans for him at the time. To her, and everyone else he had been just an annoying, but chipped vampire/former enemy who had become occasionally useful. 

The fight to keep Dawn safe, and for their very lives against Glory had changed everything for all the Scoobies, and between the two of them. There was so much he wanted to tell this Buffy, but he could only just tell her some of it otherwise it would alter this future. When she went back she would have full knowledge of what they had to do to defeat Glory, though what she experienced, and saw here would be like only just half remembered fragments of this future. 

But he remembered clearly still when she had finally awaken from the trance much to everyone including his own relief. There was a marked change in her. Though it was more in the change in attitude towards him. At first it had thrown him as he was used to dealing with her just barely tolerating him around since the disaster of when he had confessed he loved her then later chained both her, and Dru up trying to prove that he did love her. Then there was the robot. It had taken awhile for her to really forgive him over that. His enduring Glory's torture, and not telling the Hellbitch anything had been the turning point in changing her mind about him. Then fighting side by side to protect Dawn from the Knights, and Glory had been part of it too. Still when she had awaken, and sought him out to reassure him that she was all right he knew something had really changed within her heart towards him. Then they had shared their first real kiss not induced by a spell, or for any reason except that she wanted to kiss him, and let him know she really did care about him, and as more than just her mortal enemy, and now friend. That she was ready to acknowledge that he _was'_ the man in her life, and no one else—not Riley, not Angel—only him.

In the background on the radio as they kissed not caring who was watching, he heard a song whose haunting music and lyrics seemed so much to fit what they were going through and what he was feeling:

_These are not words, they're only feelings.  
There are no sounds that you can hear.  
There is no form that you can touch.  
There are no colours for you to see._

_The only sound is a distant thunder.  
A tempest rages so far away from me.  
I walked for miles and I started running  
towards the sound and storm where you might find me._

_And I ran until I had the feeling  
that the Tempest I had heard surrounded me.  
Here my heart still so filled with loving  
cried out and told of wonders that I feel._

_Here my heart is so filled with loving._

_And I tell myself, I keep repeating  
that your ways are bringing you to me.  
And I tell myself, I keep repeating  
that your ways are bringing you to me._

_And I tell myself, I keep repeating  
that your ways are bringing you to me,  
that I will find my true salvation,  
that these ways of mine are bringing you to me._

_Because here my heart so filled with loving  
crying out the wonders that I feel.  
Here I will find my true salvation  
and my ways are bringing you to me_

_And I tell myself, I keep repeating  
that your ways are bringing you to me,_

All these years since then, the feelings from that one kiss remained with him because it was the binding of their beings together in ways that the others would never fully understand. What they had, and would always have was something beyond just being soul mates. Even though he still had remnants of his original soul, they all still thought him souless when the truth was he was far from it. There were no words for what they really were to one another. It bridged time, and space, and was as eternal as what they felt for one another was. When the kiss had ended, and they had looked into each other's eyes they knew they were bonded together, and she had finally acknowledged, and accepted what he had accepted long before that moment. She loved him, and was finally not afraid to be loved by him. Nothing could destroy them, not even final death.

The gang had not been happy about their new closeness, and did not want to accept that it was for real. The idea of her being with another vampire, and in particular him, no matter what the circumstances did not make for pleasantness in the ranks. Much to his surprise his Buffy would not cave in to her friends, and made them accept their being together. When Angel, Faith, the LA crew, and Oz had showed up for the final battle things got decided tenser, but still Buffy held firm, and would not let anyone, including Angel say, or do anything to break them up. And his sire had gone ballistic over the situation immediately. Buffy wouldn't let him have a private word' with his childe like he wanted which pissed him off even more. The situation, in a way, resulted in Angel and Faith finally getting together after the final battle was over. 

The night before the final showdown four couples had gone off in the desert to say their good byes in private, Xander and Anya, he and Buffy, Willow and Oz, Angel and Faith. Tara had still not recovered from when Glory had sucked her mind. Willow had been torn between wanting to be with her, and wanting to be with Oz once again. But it had been Tara having a moment of clarity, and vision, telling her lover that she needed to go to Oz to receive a precious gift that she could not give her. That this time would never be again, and what was lost would be returned. Then she had pushed Willow away forcing her to go. In confusion Willow had gone with Oz already knowing that they might not survive the battle. 

While Faith, and Angel had been an entirely different matter, since they were not long lost lovers reuniting. Angel had been interested in Cordelia, but she had let him know in no uncertain terms prior to their coming to Sunnydale that there was no way she was ever getting with him, and risking her life since no one was sure whether, or not his soul was, or wasn't anchored. And he was only a friend –period. She just didn't feel that way about him. Faith on the other hand had been more than interested in Angel for several years, and wasn't afraid to find out if his soul was permanent, or not. He wasn't that disinterested in her either especially when she wrapped her luscious body around his, and got him in a solid liplock of epic proportions. Then too, they both had bottled up frustrations they wanted to get rid of. And rid them they did, and none too quietly either as the sounds of their lovemaking drifted over the normally quiet desert.

He and Buffy had camped by the stream away from everyone, especially Angel and Faith. After all the months, and years of bottled up passions they came together almost shyly, this first time being finally alone, and able to express what they felt. Still dressed, they stood there not touching, her eyes reflecting such love and trust for him it almost overwhelmed him. Then she reached up with her small hands, and cupped his face, to kiss him softly on the lips letting him feel what her now closed eyes had been showing him. His strong arms wrapped around her waist, and drew her to him as he returned her kiss, deepening it with his own held back feelings. Buffy's arms went around his neck, and her body molded perfectly to his as their kissing intensified and passions rose as they sought closer contact with each other. Clothes were quickly stripped off and thrown off without care wanting, needing there to be just flesh to flesh. 

He kissed her all over until her legs felt like they were Jell-O, worshipping her body as he had always dreamed to do. Before she could fall, he had scooped her up in his arms, and laid her on their sleep bag, and continued to kiss every inch of her to bring her higher, and higher with his expert touches. He knew she was lost in the sensations he was provoking in her, feelings and desires that she had not even known were there that no one had ever made her feel before. He wanted her to know for the first time what it was like to really be made love to, to know that everything before had been a sad, pale imitation of what she was feeling. He was going to make her forget everyone that had ever touched her, and to make up that he had told her she had not been worth a second go. He had always worshipped her, wanted her, needed her to be his, and his alone since he had first laid eyes on her in the Bronze dancing. He had also been jealous of every man that she had let get close to her, including his damned sire. Now he could finally prove to her that despite his being a so called souless vampire he loved her with all his heart, and would stick by her no matter what.

When he entered her at last it was like being consumed in sweet, living fire. He melted in her, was lost in her as she had been lost by what he had been doing to her. Her inner muscles clamped around his hardness taking him to heights he hadn't known existed before. He couldn't even conceive of a human being able to handle what she was making him feel, or for them to even begin to keep up with her. He seriously doubted that soldier boy had ever gotten her this aroused, and hot, or able to let herself let go this completely without fear of hurting him. His suspicious were confirmed as she moved with him slow at first, and then as her confidence, and fears faded she allowed herself to match his movements, and add a few of her own. It had been sheer heaven that first time of what would be many times that they made incredible love that night.

He and Buffy had woke before dawn, and got back to camp before the first rays of the sun peaked above the horizon. Angel and Faith had also wandered back looking decidedly happy as well as love rumpled and not giving a care either how they looked. It was relief to all that his soul was anchored and that they were still dealing with Angel and not Angelus. Angel held onto Faith possessively as he was afraid she's disappear or vanish on him. 

Not that he hadn't held Buffy just as possessively and proudly. Letting his sire know in no uncertain terms that Buffy was his in all ways. Buffy was his mate and heaven help anyone who tried to take her away from him.

Oz and Willow had arrived back before them, and were tending Tara. The werewolf, and the witch wore an air of calm and peace that none of the group had seen in either for a very long time. There was also a feeling of deep sadness to them as if they knew before the rest of the group what was about to happen. As if they had really said all their goodbyes, and knew that they weren't going to survive the coming battle intact.

Once everyone was present, and accounted for they quickly got the camper, and Oz's van loaded and ready to go, and tense silence they had drove to the location of the cave where Glory had gone to perform the ritual to open the gate between her world and theirs.

Will became aware of Buffy asking him a question, and had to shift his mind from the past to the present, and the still very confused, and bewildered past Buffy. "Sorry, luv, my mind sort of drifted there," he told her. Now what was it you were asking me?" he asked refocusing on her.

"Giles said the ritual isn't ready to be performed for two more days—_what am I going to do until then?_" she asked clearly worried, and nervous about how she was going to live and where' until she was returned to her normal time and body.

End Part 2

Continued in Part 3

[NEXT][1]

   [1]: file:///C%7C/web/company/Buffy/ALATS2.htm



	2. Parts 3-4

AnotherLife2

Another Life, And Then Some   
by Phoenixstitch 

Parts 3 -- 4 

Part 3 

Will grinned down at her understanding very much what the problem was. She may be wearing his Buffy's very pregnant body, but the mind, and her reactions were that of the younger Buffy who hadn't come to term with her feelings about him yet, and was scared to be in intimate circumstance with him. "Scared, huh?" he grinned.

She frowned up him his perceptiveness unnerving her, and nodded with a weak smile, "petrified," she admitted.

"Yeah, I can see that. I will try to make your stay here as pleasant, and stress free as possible. You are not my Buffy so you have no worries along the lines you were maybe thinking about. It wouldn't be right for either of us," he reassured her. "I'll take the couch and you can have the bed, no big deal," he added.

"But what about these kids? I don't know how to do the mommy part of this. I'm not used to handling kids," she admitted, feeling kind of lost and helpless.

His blue eyes twinkled in amusement. "Not a problem either. You still don't have that part down too good either, but you are getting better," he grinned.

"That's reassuring, I guess," she replied, "so are we about done here? I feel like I need to eat or something. Besides go pee," she said getting up and making a dash to the bathroom.

Xander who had been listening to the exchange without adding his two cents in looked over to Will and shook his head. This has got to be one of the more weirder situations we've had in a while. Think she's handing it okay?"

"Seems to be. Though remember how freaked she was after she woke up. I will try not to add to her problems when we are alone. The Buffy of that time was pretty fragile, and strung out by all that was going on in her life, and I wasn't doing too great of job of helping her, though I was trying to—_when she let any of us help her._"

"Yeah, she was all I have to handle every bit of this all by myself because I'm the Chosen one, and not you. But I she did change after this trip, so maybe it will be all okay. So what do you think your Buffy is doing?"

"Probably still asleep. If I remember rightly, she only woke up long enough to tell Giles, and Willow what was going on, and to expect their' Buffy back shortly with the answer to their Glory problem. Most of the time she never woke up, or at least she pretended to be asleep for fear of altering the time line, and what was to be too much," Will told him as the three of them had been on active guard duty during that period against the Knights returning for another bout of battle.

"And how are you, and kids handling this?" Xander asked his now friend.

"Destry doesn't seem to be able to tell the difference, and Des' is just very confused, but willing to put up with the strange lady, but she still wants her mommy back. Me, I haven't bloody well figured that out yet. I am very aware she is not my Buffy and am getting all the old protective feelings back again for the one that is here. Then I feel like I'm walking on bloody eggshells in what to tell her and not to. I'm even bloody afraid to touch her, or hold her because we didn't then unless she decided to. You ought to remember how hard it was to get close to any of us," Spike told him.

"Yeah, big time. She started getting better after the bot incident," and was amused to see Will blush over memory of that embarrassing time.

"You would have to bring that up," Will glared. "I'm glad the bloody thing got destroyed during the battle. At least it went out in a blaze of Glory—literally," he added with slow satisfied smile, remembering the spectacular explosion the bot had made when they had wired heavy explosives to it, and sent it into the portal to destroy the gate, and minions wanting to come through from that side before they could close the gate from their side.

"Yeah, that she did. Though you and Buff got a bit scorched from it."

"Hazards of the job," Will replied with a shrug, "but we survived, and the world got rid of the Hellbitch, and I got the girl after all, so I have nothing whatsover to bloody complain about. I only regret that Oz, and Tara didn't make it."

Xander noticed he didn't mention Riley, but let that pass as Spike/Will still had issues about his former rival who when the commando had joined up with them just before the battle had tried his damnedest to win Buffy back to him after he found out that the vampire, and Buffy were really together. Oz, Angel and Xander had had to go have a nice talk with the soldier, and set him straight on things before he messed up their entire battle plans, and Buffy's head. Especially, after the PTB had sent Cordy a vision showing Riley trying betray them all to Glory's minions. In the end Riley did not betray them, and died defending Willow and Tara from attack after Oz was killed.

"Yeah, I know. I still miss them, but there just wasn't any way to save them," he said with a sad note to his voice and then changing the subject, Xander asked, "so you're just taking her home?"

"I can't see why bloody not. It's getting late, and the kids need to be fed and all. Can't change that, even for her. I got keep everything as normal as possible for them otherwise they'll think something is wrong, and really give us problems," Will answered. "Besides, it's only for a day or so. I'm sure she and I can work it out. Even when we were mortal enemies we could manage to work together when we needed to."

Xander raised and eyebrow on that wondering what secrets he didn't know about that those two shared before they actually had gotten together. There had always been these looks they passed back and forth at odd times in perfect if annoyed understanding of something no one else, but them knew about. Like a lot of times Buffy would not tell anyone about what she, and Spike had talked about when they accidentally ran into each other on patrol except to say she had run into him. Xander still had questions about the truce she had had with him to stop Angelus. There had been other times too. But if Buffy wouldn't say anything then trying to get the info out of her was almost impossible, and the same had held true for Spike. Except there had been a few times he had wondered what the vampire had been going on, and on about, like that time at the Bronze just before the Troll, one of Anya's ex-boyfriends had showed up. But at that time none of them had really listened' to Spike. He was just an annoyance that they couldn't understand why he was still being allowed to walk around unstaked.

"Yeah, I guess so," Xander sighed not sure what else to say. "Though this is past Buffy and not present one. If she gets too freaked she can stay over at our house if she wants," he offered.

Will looked at him, and just shook his head. "She'll be fine. What you think I'm going to bloody eat her for breakfast, or something—give me a bit of credit, mate," he told him.

Xander looked back embarrassed, "Sorry, it's just a really weird situation. But do holler if you do have problems, okay?" he asked, still worried.

"Yeah, I will. And here she comes, so let's can it for now," Will warned him as he saw Buffy emerge from the restroom finally. "Everything okay, luv?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I guess. Just not used to this body. Or being pregnant. This is so so weird," she sighed sinking down in a chair as best she could which did take some maneuvering to do so semi gracefully. "So are we ready to go?" she asked.

"Anytime you are, luv. Let me go get the kids, and we'll get you home," Will answered, then he went over to get the children who were enjoying themselves. They were not going to be happy to leave. As expected there were protests, but they obeyed their father, and put their toys up. When they had finished they followed him back to where Buffy was sitting. 

Xander was getting his own offspring ready to go home as Anya was through for the day and she was almost as pregnant as Buffy was. The Harris' had hoped for a girl, but they were getting another boy. While their men were getting the kids ready the two women had had a chance to talk a little. Buffy was please to note that Anya had lost some of her blunt edginess, and had assimilated in the world better. She gave Buffy some tips on handling her new body which the younger woman appreciated.

Giles came over to them and asked Buffy, "I know I said that you would be involved in a ritual in a couple of days, but there is some prep work we need to do before hand. Do think you can come here tomorrow?" her Watcher asked her, noting that without even thinking about it the younger Buffy turned to Will for his opinion and consent. 

Giles smiled inwardly, at seeing the confirmation of something he had been wondering about. That the younger Buffy, and Spike had been working in sync far longer than anyone had noticed or suspected. Or even that they themselves had suspected they were that close together. He really hadn't noticed himself until Buffy had showed up at the old Magic Box with Spike in tow after he had been tortured by Glory, and he had watched in shocked amazement how well the two communicated with a single glance or a word and weren't even aware that they were doing it. They were inter dependent on one another in ways Giles had never seen his charge work with another, including Angel or Faith. Nor did he miss that time how much his slayer was interested if not already in love with in the vampire despite her denials and protestations that Spike was the last person on earth she'd would ever get involved with.

"Shouldn't be a problem, Rupert. I'll get her here as soon as we can. I'll drop her off before I go to work once we take the kids to daycare," Will told him. "That'll also get her out of the house so she's not sitting around getting bored and lonely. Though isn't Faith bringing Willow down tomorrow too?"

Giles looked started as he had forgotten that Willow and Faith were coming. "Ah yes, I had forgotten that entirely. Willow promised to help in the spell preparations. I think they are bringing Julian, and Mysti with them."

"So I'll get to see Wills tomorrow, sounds like I'll have a fun day," Buffy said, and then noticed that everyone looked slightly uncomfortable. "What? What's wrong?" she asked, puzzled by their expressions and reactions.

"Buffy, I'm afraid that you and Willow are not the best of friends anymore. In fact I had to beg her to come her to help me. She doesn't come to Sunnydale unless she absolutely has to. She still blames you for losing both Tara and Oz, and for her paralysis along with almost losing Julian a couple of years later. It's very complicated, I'm afraid, but ," Giles began to explain but Anya jumped in.

"She hates your guts and even Xander's too because he stuck up for you," Anya stuck in, ignoring her husband's look as well as Will's. "Hey, she needs to know and I think, Giles, you better warn Faith and Willow that past Buffy is here too."

"Yes, I think I should, considering the circumstances. Will, I'll give you and Buffy a ring if we need to make a change in plans after I talk to them," Giles informed him.

"Got it."

"I sort of do, but if it won't be violating all kinds of time traveling prime directives can you fill me in on what's going on?" Buffy asked Will, looking up to him still confused as to what horrible things had happened to cause her, and her best friend to now be bitter enemies.

Will looked to Giles for permission and the former Watcher shrugged and reluctantly nodded his consent. Seeing that he had an okay, Will told her, "later, after we get the kids tucked in, I'll give you a complete rundown on everything., I promise," he told the confused girl, and she accepted his word. "Okay, we're off people," he told them and helped Buffy get out of her chair. "Destry, hold on to your sister's hand and head for the car," he added to the children and they went ahead of their parents towards the parking lot, stopping at the door while Will checked to make sure there were no nasties hanging around to jump them before he took his family outside. 

Normally, they didn't have any trouble around the area of the new Magic Box as the local demon population was well aware of who owned the shop, and who hung around still. The smart demons did not like to mess with the former slayer, and the group. But occasionally there were stupid fledglings, and new-in-towners that wanted to try, and take the Scoobies down, and could find some way to get through the defensive magicks surrounding the shop. There hadn't been a serious attack in over six months, but none of the group took chances especially when they had their children with them out at night. The attack years ago on Willow and Julian had made them all super protective about all of their offspring. None of the children were ordinary, and if someone got one of them the children could be used in dark rituals, or used as weapons, or hostages against the group as a whole. This was a real fear for all of them even before they brought their children into the world, but despite the dangers, they did have kids, and never regretted it because the life affirming joys their children brought were worth all the risks.  
  
Seeing that it was safe, Will and Buffy got the kids into the SRV and buckled in. Then he helped her in before he got in and they took off for their house. Buffy was pleasantly surprised that they still lived in her old house on Revello Drive. They both had decided not to let her father pressure her into selling it. Her missing father finally surfaced a month after the Glory crisis was over wanting to take custody of Dawn, and wanting her to sell the house to settle her mother's estate. Buffy had refused to do either, and with Giles' and Spike's help had managed to keep both, and get her father out of their lives. There was something about the Watcher's Council putting pressure on him to leave Buffy alone, but nothing was ever confirmed by them.   
  
A month after that Spike and Buffy had gotten married. Then eight months after that Desiree had been born. Since the battle with Glory, Spike and Buffy had been inseparable, especially after he had become human. There had been some initial conflict over Spike living in the house, and their not being married, especially with Dawn living there too. But she wanted to live with her sister and Spike. They were her family, not some father she didn't even know. Once Spike and Buffy were married, then the authorities quit harassing them. After the battle she was a pretty much normal girl. Though she did retain a trace of some of the magicks that had flowed through her as the Key. She still went patrolling at night with the Scoobies, and slayed demons and other nasties like her sister had done in high school. But she did not have her own Scoobies, and kept pretty much to herself during her high school years, not finding anyone her age she could share her secrets with. Eventually she finished high school, and was now in college living off campus with Cullen in the apartment they shared.

Will filled Buffy in on some of this on the drive home, and as they were fixing dinner in the totally remodeled kitchen. The house inside was a little bit changed from what Buffy was used to. There was a new living room set, entertainment center, and the whole house had a bright cheery air to it with more of a contemporary look. Some of her Mother's prized antiques were still scattered around, but it was clear she had been making the house distinctly her own for her family. Her mom's room was now their bedroom, and Desiree, and Destry were sharing hers, while Dawn's old room was going to be used as a nursery for the new baby due in a month. Looking out the kitchen window Buffy could see that the backyard was now fenced with a high wooden fence, and there was a swing set, and play equipment for the kids. The backyard was also warded to keep out nasties, Will assured her, along with special spells to keep the kids from escaping, so they could play outside in safety at home. Willow had come up with that spell because of Julian almost running outside from the hotel into traffic when the grownups' back had been turned. She called it a kid barrier, but it wouldn't work on children after age eight. All the group had the kid barrier spell set up at their homes and places of business. It also worked to make their children invisible to prying eyes when they were playing.

Dinner went fairly calmly, with no big kid food disasters. Then it was bath time, and bed time for the two children. By the time they had the kids tucked in and asleep, Buffy was exhausted. "And I do this everyday?" she asked Will once they had left the kid's room and went downstairs to talk.

"Yeah, that you do. Quite amazing isn't it?' he grinned at her as she sat down on their new couch.

"That's an understatement. I never thought I'd live this long, or be able to have kids. I think I told you that once. Then there's this whole you being human. I'm still having a hard time believing it, let alone understanding how it happened," Buffy told him as he sat down next to her.

"It was a bit of a shocker for all of us as I had been slowly turning human for some time except no one knew it, not even me," he said with a sigh, trying to figure out how to' explain it. 

"Huh?" she asked, confused, staring at him.

"It all got started when I got that damn government chip in my head, so I couldn't be a normal vampire anymore and since I couldn't drink my usual and had to drink animal swill it gradually started altering me over the months and I started craving food. I started eating the stuff and enjoying it which is not normal—I'll tell you that. Eating human food usually makes us sick, but it wasn't me. But I didn't even notice I was doing it and since I was by my lonesome, neither did I as I was kind of focused on you and not that something was happening to me," he told her, and saw comprehension in her eyes.

"Like when you had me get you the chicken wings, and then Xander was complaining about you swiping his food. You used to make all sorts of comments about food, but I didn't pay any attention. Figured you were just going through some kind of weird phase. I just kind of figured if you could drink, you could eat—no big deal," she replied.

"Yeah, me too. I didn't even question it as being wrong. Then I got bit by a Ghora demon by accident back around the time your Mum died."

"Ghora demon? Dawn had an egg from one of those in her room that she was using to do some sort of ritual with it. I asked Giles about it, but he couldn't figure out where the egg came from as he didn't have anything like it in the shop. But Dawn refused to say where and how she got it. I take it you had something to do with it?" she asked with a raised eyebrow pining him under her angry gaze.

"Yeah, but you weren't supposed to know about it. So Dawn never ratted, huh?"

"No, and I can see you aren't going to tell me either. So since I am not going to get an answer, what happened next?" Buffy asking knowing she was never going to know the story behind the Ghora egg.

Will was relieved that Buffy had decided not pursue the egg story as he still wasn't sure how much this Buffy was going to not remember when she awoke. Plunging on he said, "you remember when Glory tortured me?" and Buffy nodded, interested. "well, she did a bit of probe, and slashing with her hands, and her energy when she was working on me. Giles thinks that somehow her energy triggered something in me too. Remember how long it took for me to heal up from the beating? Any other time I would have been good as new with a day or so, instead it took double the time. And then I was hungry, but not for blood. I had to make myself drink down the stuff you brought me when I was watching Dawn for you. Your sister gave me her sandwich you left for her, and I ate it with no bloody problem, when I should have had a bloody problem with it," he told her, and she understood now.

"Dawn sort of mentioned it to me because she kept asking me if vampires could get food. I told her to ask Giles because I really didn't know. Angel never did, but you would, so I didn't know."

"Well, I wasn't supposed to—_let's put it that way._ Remember when the Knights were after us, and Giles flipped the RV. I landed full in a patch of sunlight, but nothing bloody happened, but I was so freaked that I was in it-- I moved like it was burning me. Giles was the only one that saw it. But things were happening so fast that he didn't get a chance to talk to me until you were in the coma. That's when we found out I could tolerate sunlight, and not burn up. The prolonged exposure made me weak though. I was also beginning to get a detectable pulse, and was needing to breath the closer my body became to being human again. It was like something was slowly reversing all that had been done to change me into a vampire. On the plus side I wasn't losing any of my abilities, and reflexes I had as a vampire. It was, and is like I am slayer like you are."

"But that's impossible," Buffy protested, "there are no male slayers—only female ones."

"Yeah, Giles said the same thing, but what I could do, and still can do was more like you than like a vampire. Peaches, on the other hand when the PTB gave him his reward made him just a normal human with no special gifts. My changing wasn't so much divine intervention as just simple biology with a touch of magick thrown in," Will explained.

"So your saying my Spike is changing into being human on his own. What about a soul?" she asked.

"I hate to break it to you. It was always there inside of me, even when we first met. The demon and I had a truce of sorts over the years. It came out to play when it was needed but most of time I was still me. The more human I got the less the demon had control over me and faded to the background just like what happens to you as a slayer."

"Huh? You're saying I have a demon in me?" Buffy asked both incredulous and disgusted. "No, no way."

"Sorry, luv, it's true. Otherwise you couldn't do what you do as a slayer. That's why you can fight vampires and demons. The part in you recognizes them, and it gives you your strength, and abilities, otherwise you'd just be a normal girl. Like recognizes like. The way I heard it explained there's something in your DNA passed down from the first slayer. When you are needed something get triggered, awaken that demon part, and you become full blown slayer."

Buffy shook her head not sure whether to believe him or not, but Will's explaination did make sense more than the purely mystical ones that Giles had given her. "Okay, I guess. So you, and Angel are both human now. Tara, Oz and Riley are dead. And Willow is not speaking to me over their deaths and something to do with her son, am I correct?"

End Part 3

***********************************************************************************

Part 4

"Yeah, it happened while Willow was still in Sunnydale after she had Julian. Jules and Des' are pretty close in age. He's just a couple of weeks older than her, so the two spent a lot of time together. Since you and Willow both went back to school along with me. We used to do tag team watching the kids, especially with Willow being in a wheelchair and unable to run after him. Now Des' has inherited some of our abilities, you haven't seen that yet, but she is super strong, and fast. Jules isn't yet. The werewolf part of him won't show up until he's older."

"So we have super kids? Is Destry like that too?" she asked, fascinated.

"Yeah, needs to be to handle Des' she's right bossy with him, and he'll put up with it just for so long before he fights back," he grinned. 

"Sounds kind of like you and me," she blushed.

"Yeah, it does," he admitted with a twinkle in his eyes.

Changing the subject back, before it got into too deep with the future Spike, Buffy asked, "So what happened to Willow? Why does she hate me so much?"

"Are you sure want to know? It's not a pretty story," he asked, his eyebrow raised in question as he regarded her.

"I need to know. It's been bothering me since I heard as I can't imagine what could have happened to break her and I's friendship up. We've been through so much over the years," Buffy told him, her eyes begging him to tell her the truth no matter how painful it might be.

"That was part of it, luv, what you all had been through. During the battle her spinal cord got severed by one of the Knight's swords while she was protecting Tara, and us while we fought with her magicks. She saw Oz get killed. One of the knights beheaded him with a blessed sword, and she lost her concentration, and her barriers went down. She couldn't move fast enough to defend herself only just enough to keep herself from Oz's fate. Afterwards, she was in deep shock and mourning for months waiting to die and join her lovers but no one would let her go. She didn't even know she was pregnant because she couldn't tell with all the other changes and physical therapy she was having to do. No one noticed she was pregnant until she was almost five months along, and then the baby coming became the focus of everything for her. She didn't want to stay with her parents so she lived with us. We fixed up your Mum's old office down here as a bedroom for her as she couldn't do the stairs. All of us worked with her and she slowly recovered and started being her old self," he told her.

"So you and Dawn had to deal with two pregnant women. I bet we were lots of fun," Buffy smiled, trying to imagine that time.

"Loads. Though it wasn't that bloody bad really. You had both reregistered in college, and that was keeping the two of you occupied. I had started myself part time, and then was working too with Xander doing construction work. In the beginning it was hard as I didn't have any papers, but between you and Giles, you put pressure on the WC to have them come up with a workable identity for me. You told them if they could threaten to shut down the shop, and take Giles' green card away they could come up with papers for me since I had put my life on the line for everyone too."

"I take it you got the papers?"

"Yeah, and then some. Seems the WC in their investigations found out that I was heir to a large sum of money, and properties from my mortal days. Then the money I had left in savings in a bank had just been sitting there drawing interest for years. It was due to all this windfall that Giles, and I were able to purchase the High School property, and afford to rebuild the shop. We were also able to set up trust funds for all the children, and Dawn too. The money also came when we were fighting your father over Dawn and the house. It is now our house and completely paid off."

"So we're rich?" she asked, curious.

"Comfortably, and we still have my ancestral house in England, and properties scattered here and there in case we need them, and as investments. We teach because we want to, not because we need to. And the WC also got Angel's affairs straightened out too. They are similarly set up. Cordy was pleased, as she still manages the business. Faith just isn't interested in financial matters," he explained.

"Yeah, that sounds about right. So, what happened? We were in college, expecting, then what?" Buffy asked getting up to go see if there was something to drink.

"You finished the winter session, and decided to do the spring using the computer since you were both due around mid January, early February. Willow went into labor in the middle of the night during a Blue Moon. It was difficult for her because of the paralysis because she couldn't feel her labor pains. We got her to the hospital just barely in time. Julian was also breech which didn't help matters. I stayed with her the entire time, standing in for Oz. I have never seen so much joy on her face as when I handed her son to her. All six pounds of him screaming mad to be brought into the world. He's a real fighter that one," he said proudly, explaining this as he followed her to the kitchen.

Putting on a tea kettle of water she then sat down on one of the kitchen stools to listen to the rest of the story. "So Julian was born, and we were still friends?"

"Yes, no problems, that was later the next year that it happened. Willow had some difficulty at first taking care of Jules, but she soon got the hang of it We had to redo some of the furniture so it was more accessible for her. Between her son, and her schoolwork, and having her friends around Willow was quite happy."

"And I had Desiree a couple of weeks later?" Buffy asked making herself some herbal tea in the kitchen.

"Yeah, you had been having false labor pains for days which wasn't adding to your mood. And you and I had gone to the grocery to get some things Willow wanted when this stupid fledging appeared out of nowhere to try and attack you. Without even thinking about it you drop kicked him, and staked him in the parking lot, before I could even move. Then your water broke, and you started having real pains. You almost crushed the door handle when the first one hit. I had to pry the door open to get you into the car while you yelled at me about how much it was hurting. I got you to hospital, but you were cussing me out the entire time. The labor room was fun too. None of the drugs were working on you. You damn near broke my hand, and scared all the nurses. The whole maternity ward could hear you. After a couple of hours you had Des' much to everyone's relief. But when she was born and you held her for the first time I had never seen anyone look so radiant, or beautiful. I was kind of in shock as my really having a child hadn't registered until I saw her being born, and caught her as she came out. When she took her first breath, and opened her eyes I was lost completely. I that had done nothing, but deal death, and destruction for years had helped bring a new life into the world. It was a very profound experience for me," he said, almost misty eyed in remembrance.

"I'm kind looking forward to all this happening now. At least I'm getting a taste of the pregnant part," she sad feeling her rounded stomach in wonder. "So I became a mommy finally. I like the name Desiree. French isn't it?" she asked taking a sip of her tea while he fixed himself some regular tea.

"It was a character in a book by the same name, and a movie in the 50's with Marlan Brando about Napoleon's first love before he became emperor of France, and married Josephine. One of Desiree's sisters married one Napoleon's brothers. Napoleon and Desiree were also engaged, but he broke it off when he went to Paris, and met Josephine. Desiree ended up being married to one of his generals, and the general became King of Sweden by accident. Then the king helped the English to defeat Napoleon. During all the years Desiree saw Napoleon because she was a sister-in-law to him, and was one of his true friends. They never completely fell out of love with one another, but also knew it could never be. It's very tragic and sweet at the same time. You saw it on cable one night, and fell in love with the name," Will explained.

"That's sweet. Just out of curiosity what is our last name, since you now have one, Buffy had to ask.

Will laughed, "I was wondering when you were going to ask. It's Sommerset. My name before was Lord William Henry Xavier Sommerset IV. Yes, before I was turned, I was minor nobility. In the Watcher's records they had had me mixed up with some one else and didn't even know my real name or background. That's why I was laughing so much about the poor woman who had done her thesis on me. When I became a vampire I laid quite a number of false trails about my real past to protect my family from Angelus, and anyone else who might want to harm them," he added, noting her shocked expression. 

"So you didn't kill your family?" she asked, surprised.

"No, but Angelus thought I did, and that's all that counted with me. Had to do some fancy talking to get him and Darla to believe me. Demon or not I still cared about me Mum and sister. I wasn't like Angelus hating his family. I think Dru knew I was lying, but she never said a word because she remembered what he had did to hers," he told her. 

"Is Drusilla still around?" she had to ask.

He sighed. "Last I heard she and Darla were in Paris with Lindsay and Lelia. They gave up on trying turn both me, and Angel back into vampires finally. You and Faith wanted to dust them, but we wouldn't let you so as long as they stay away from us it's all cool."

Buffy had a few comments to make but decided not to, instead she returned to why Willow hated her since she still didn't know. "So if everything was fine what happened to make Willow hate me?" she asked.

"It was all good for the first year. Things were all back to normal. We still had the usual vampire and demons coming around but no end of world type crisis's until in England some bunch of kids mucking around with black magick called up this really bad, Hell God. Since it was in England the WC tried to send the god back to it's dimension. It found out about their plans and destroyed everyone before they even knew what hit them. There's still a nasty crater where the council building used to be. Just a few of the Watchers managed to escape, and they told us what was going on. Since we all had had experience with Hell gods they begged us to help. Willow had also be practicing, and getting more, and more powerful with her magicks. It had gotten to the point where she could walk around for brief periods using one of her spells."

"Wow, that must have been amazing. So I take it we volunteered to get rid of this God?"

"Yeah, you, Willow, Giles, and Wesley were all gung ho about it. The rest of us weren't that eager to do go up against a god again, since we all had kids to worry about now. We also thought that since the god was in England we'd have to go there. Instead he came looking for us, and our children, especially Desiree and Angelette, since they were children of slayers and former vampires. He needed their blood, and life force to keep the gate permanently opened. We didn't know until it was almost too bloody late that he needed Julian too. The God stuck without warning before we had a chance to prepare, taking all the kids including Jessie and Jake who were six months old. Cordelia had not had Alexander yet so she was spared what we all went through worrying about the babies in that demon's hands."

"God, we all must have been wigging," Buffy said gasping, not wanting to imagine how that had felt or been.

"Julian wore a protection charm that Willow could use to locate him since he had a habit of disappearing on her once he started walking. Desiree had a similar charm too. Angelette, and Xander's boys didn't. Our only hope was that the kids were all together in the same place. Luckily, they were in a cavern deep below the old school, close to the old Master's lair. The God was weak, and he was trying to use the some of the Hellmouth energy that was seeping through the seals to give him enough strength to do the ritual. Once we had his location pinpointed we all went down in force. He called up all sorts of slimy, fanged nasties and it was a real battle to get to the main cavern. We at least knew what, when, and how the ritual was going to be performed as well as how to stop it and the god. The key was getting the kids out of there without them being injured, or shedding even a single drop of their blood. When we broke through into the chamber the god was beginning his spell. The five children were in a circle with him. Des' and Angelette were guarding Jules who was holding the twins. It was like watching you and Faith. He wasn't going to get near the boys without a fight. Des' wasn't even two yet, and Ang' was three months younger, but the two girls kept moving, and avoiding his trying to grab them or the boys."

"But they were just babies!" Buffy protested, not understanding.

"They may have been babies, but they were our bloody babies. Fighters they all are. Anyway, the two girls being so protective was enough of a distraction that Willow, Anya, Wesley, and Giles had a chance to blast him with energy, and turn his attention away from the kids, and to them. Angel and I kept the remaining minions from interfering while you, Faith and Xander freed the children. Xander got his boys, while Faith got Ang', and you got Des', and Jules. Except Jules wanted his mommy not you, and was fighting you to get to her. He slipped out of your hands, and fell to floor of the cavern, hitting his head, and cutting his lip while you were still in the circle. Just that tiny bit of blood was enough to give the god strength against us all for a space. All hell broke loose as the portal started opening. I saw what was happening, and managed to grab Jules before he got sucked into the vortex that was beginning to open. We almost couldn't get out of the circle with the kids. Luckily, Faith had gotten Ang away from it otherwise none of us would have made it. Using their magicks the group forced the god back, and into the vortex, then it closed behind him. Willow collasped immediately unable to stand anymore. When she saw that Julian was still unconscious, she went ballastic because you had let her baby get hurt. Then she started blaming you for everything bad that had ever happened in her life since she had met you, and found out about slayers, and vampires--_everything._ Even after Julian woke up she was still furious at you, and you started lashing back at her. You both said things to one another that went beyond bloody harsh. That night she stayed with Angel, and Faith. They offered her space in LA with them. The next day she had hers, and Julian's things moved there. She wouldn't talk to you, or see you. Even Dawn, and I weren't allowed to speak with her for a while. She was bloody irrational, and super protective about her son, and still is," Will explained to her, amazed that not once had Buffy tried to interrupt with questions.

"Wow," was all Buffy could say, shaking her head. "I just can't believe it, after all we have been through over the last years. It just sounds like she snapped," the younger Buffy said looking at him trying to hold her tears back.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what we all think, and you know how stubborn Willow can be on something and you aren't too much better," he reminded her, and she grudgingly admitted she was sometimes that irrational and bad about things.

"Her little boy, he was okay, is okay, isn't he?" she asked suddenly worried.

"Right as rain. It was just a bump on the head, no more than any other kid could have taken," he reassured her. "So how are you holding up? Too much information, tired?" he asked looked at her worriedly.

"A little tired maybe. I think my body wants to call it quits for the night. Tomorrow is a whole new adventure. And I won't remember any of this?" she asked.

"I dunno, luv, what you'll bring back except the means to destroy Glory, and keep the gate between her world, and ours shut. I do think you had some memories of now by the way you changed towards me, and were able to face the battle. It was real hard to tell because everything started happening so fast after you woke up. So you wanting to call it a night?" he asked, looking at her.

"Yeah, I think I'd better. I feel bad about you having to sleep on the couch," she apologized as she pushed herself up.

Will shrugged and gave her a slight smile. "It's no big deal. Sometimes when you're really restless I do anyway. That way you can get a good night sleep," he added as she picked up their cups and put them in the sink.

Then she went upstairs to her mom's old room, that was their room now, feeling like a complete intruder in these people's lives. It was her life but it wasn't her life yet. Using some logic she found where the current Buffy's nightgowns were and laid it out on the bed while she went in and took a shower. The hot steamy water felt wonderful and it gave her a change to see how different she looked pregnant, which was quite a lot. She was getting used to not being able to see her feet or to bend or move easily. Then feeling the new life inside was strange and wonderful. She got out and dried off, noting in the full length mirror the changes to her body and slight aging of her features. Then going into the bedroom she put on her nightgown, and crawled into the huge kingsize bed her mind still racing with all that had happened, and she had learned so far.

She had managed to survive to age twenty six, which was unheard of for a slayer. And Faith was still alive too, and a year younger. They were both mothers too and married to ex-vampires. All the normal things she had wanted out life had come true. Though there had been costs in lives, and friendships to arrive at this point in time. She couldn't allow herself to feel guilty on what choices her future self's had had to make each step of the way—_if she did, she'd go nuts_. Nor could she allow her growing knowledge of this future influence her either. What was to say if this truly was her correct, and right future, and not all an illusion created solely in her mind during her coma? They were so many possibilities, branches off the time lines, alternate dimensions that anything, and everything was possible in the future she was yet to live in—_if she got back that was_. 

She still had fears of not being able to return, and having to become the Buffy whose body she was in. Which maybe wasn't such a bad thing as she was really getting to like Will. He was so nice and solicitous of her, and really seemed to love his kids, and his Buffy. She just wished her Spike was half as nice. If she allowed herself to love Spike, and be loved by him in return would this really be the result? To herself she could admit that she was more than attracted to her Spike, and had been for a number of years, and that had been a large part of her reluctance to stake him. 

But he still made her so mad, and knew what buttons to push on her to get a rise out of her. He did get under her skin. The damn bastard did know her all too well, more than anyone else did. That frankly scared the hell out of her that with him she was vulnerable, her soul, her mind striped naked before him. He knew what she needed before she did, and surprisingly she could count on him when the chips were down. He was the one who would be by her side in the end no matter what she did, or said to him. Admittedly, she had been really shitty to him over the years, even when he didn't deserve it, because he was just a vampire, and just happened to be there to dump on. She had been trying to change that recently since the ritual with the First Slayer and his torture by Glory. But was she ready to commit to a relationship with Spike yet? She didn't feel that ready yet. She had just gotten to the being able to tolerate without killing him on sight stage. If Will was telling her right that when she, and the other Buffy got switched back, and she awoke she was suddenly going to be in love, or at least encourage a bit more intimate closeness between her Spike. Was she going to be able to change her opinion of him that much in two days time? It hardly seemed possible or realistic. There had to be more to this story that what he had told her so far, she sighed.

Finally, she drifted off to sleep, still thinking of her and Spike as a couple and not seeing how it was ever, ever going to happen

End Part 4

Continued in Part 5.


	3. Parts 5-6

ALATS 3a

Another Life, And Then Some   
by Phoenixstitch 

Parts 5-- 6

*Author´s note: The following parts are going to follow both Buffy, and Angel up to a point through all seasons on both shows, and then deviate towards the end around "Spiral", "Weight of the World", and "The Gift" to fit in with this AU world.* All usual standard disclaimers apply—just borrowing Josh´s characters, adding a few of my own, and hoping I am making better sense of some of the 5th season´s plot lines. Rating is PG-17--if you can watch the show you can read this, though there are some adult themes but no real sex.

**Another Life, and Then Some**  
by Phoenixstitch/ Vickey Brickle-Macky

Part 5

Her mind flashed on when Dawn had confirmed her worse fears by telling her that Spike was totally in love with her. She had kept hoping her little sister was wrong. That all the things she had been noticing herself about Spike, and how nice he was trying to be to her, and everyone was not what she thought. Just because Riley was out of the picture didn´t mean it was a signal for him to close in on her. There had always been fire between them since they first met. She had ignored it, because she had Angel. Then there had been their truce where they worked together. She had actually enjoyed working with him, and her mom had liked him. Her mom had hated Angel, but Spike she liked, and he liked her mom—_totally weird_. Only to herself could she admit she missed not seeing him, and having him around when she returned after running away. She even had wished him luck with Dru. If she couldn´t be happy she hoped Angel´s children could be. 

So when he showed up drunk, and upset over Dru dumping him she wasn´t all that upset to see him. If he just hadn´t messed with her friends, and her mom, then made her, and Angel really question their already shaky relationship-- it would been cool to a point. She would have still wanted him out of her town, but he had made her pissed, and his remarks had cut deep, so she was glad to see him go again. Though she did kind of wonder why his going back after Dru bothered her. It shouldn´t have. She had Angel, wasn´t that enough? It might have been if Angel hadn´t have left her, and broke her heart again. Suddenly she was alone again, and hurting more.

But she did try to do what Angel had wanted her to do, have a normal life with a normal guy. The first guy she tried, Parker, was a major big mistake, and who had to show up out of nowhere—Spike, at that frat party with Harmony. They were both a little stunned running into on another, but quickly recovered with sharpened tongues on both sides. When he met Parker he had almost acted, and sounded like he was jealous. His behavior had totally confused her. Then Spike just had to hear her conversation with Parker after the jerk had laid her, then dumped her. She still couldn´t figure out why Spike had used the information as ammunition against her while they were fighting in the quad. Poking fun at Angel, and hers relationship she sort of understood, but why had her being with a human bothered him?

Then why had she let him get to her? Why had his knowing she had gotten used bothered her? It had really hurt when he taunted her saying, "So, you let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you know each other that well. What did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees?" 

_That was something that you said to an **ex** if you were jealous._

The worst was when he said, "I wonder what went wrong. Were you too strong? Did you bruise the boy? Come to think of it seems like someone told me that. Who was it? Oh, yeah. Angel." She never before had been so furious, and hurt. All she saw was red, and wanting to seriously maim, and then kill the peroxide pest. 

That didn´t happen. They were as usual too evenly matched. Neither could get in a blow to lay the other down long enough to kill, or did they really want to kill one another? Never seemed like they could get a lethal blow in no matter what the circumstances. Instead she did get the ring of Arama off him, and he took off down a hole for safety as his skin began smoking. Then he disappeared for a while. Somehow he heard that they had given Angel the ring, and went to LA to get it. That didn´t work out either as Angel got the ring and wouldn´t give it back. Spike left, and eventually ended up back at Sunnydale.

When he had wandered back he got into trouble again. Why he kept coming back, she had never been able to figure out. As many times he got his ass beat, all the bad memories of his time in town, he still came back. There were safer places in the world to live, but no, he had to end up back in her town. She really didn´t want to know that the reason was really her. And she had always been afraid to have a real honest conversation with him. She was scared on some level to really know the truth, and find out that she was his reason for returning.

But before he could make his presence known to her the Initative had grabbed him, and put the chip in his head. When he escaped he went looking for her swearing up, and down she was responsible for it. She was a known quality—_the Initative wasn´t. _From Xander who had run into Harmony burning Spike´s things, she found out the pest was back. So she had staked out the quad, but ran into Riley from her classes who was also looking for Spike because he had escaped from the Initative. Though neither knew they were looking for the same vampire, or did they know about one another yet. She was mad Riley was in her way, and he was afraid she was going to be hurt being out alone. In hindsight the whole situation was funny. 

Spike on the other hand had found out where her dorm room was, and had gone to kill her. He found Willow instead. What Willow told her about Spike trying to bite her had her in stitches for hours later on. Course that was way later after they had calmed down from the commandos raiding the dorm looking for Spike, or Hostile 17 as they called him. Most of what happened didn´t make sense until after she learned about the Initative, and Riley´s part in all of it. She hadn´t even seen Spike in the hallway during the fight because she had been distracted trying to protect Willow from the commandos.

On Thanksgiving a chipped, homeless, starving, and smoking slightly from the sunlight Spike showed up on Giles´ doorstep with nowhere else to go. She had to admit he did look pitiful in his holey blanket, and looking weak as a kitten from not being able to feed on anything. Out of pity, and with a great deal of caution they took him in, in exchange for inside information on the unknown commandos. After they did so, there were times when she wished that the Initative could have also done something about his mouth too. God, he drove her up the wall with his whining and comments. He never seemed to shut up, or quit baiting her.

Then she had started getting interested in Riley. She liked Riley, but always felt there was something missing. There was that conversation she had with Willow where she was saying Angel was pain, but worth it. With Willow telling her that "pain was not a friend." She remembered replying, "But I can't help thinking ... isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but.. part of me believes that real love, and passion have to go hand in hand with pain, and fighting."

Had she already been setting herself up for what happened next when Willow did her _**"let her will be done"**_ spell. Though the spell was just for them to get married. The spell never said a word about being in love, or explained all the major kissage that occurred between her and Spike. It had really started out over Willow needing to do a truth spell on Spike to get him to tell them all about the commandos, and where they had taken him since the chained up vampire wouldn´t cooperate. She had to admit that she had enjoyed tormenting, and teasing him almost too much. Though their usual bickering had made Giles, and Willow want to kill them both. 

When Willow had found out Oz´s stuff all gone with no forwarding address, or note to her she lost it. Willow ended up getting drunk, then did a spell to have her will be done, but she thought it hadn´t worked. Then Giles came by the dorm to see what had happened to Willow because she was supposed to do the truth spell. He was angry with her, and by accident Willow´s spell kicked in, and he started losing his sight. Then he went home, and tried to do the truth spell on Spike by himself, and Spike escaped. Buffy found the vampire only because Willow had him popped in from where ever he had been. But Willow was mad that Buffy had left her when she needed someone to talk to to go find Spike. Willow complained to Xander, but Willow was pissed and that´s when she said jealously, "that if Spike was more important than her to Buffy, then why didn´t she just marry him." Not knowing what kind of effects her words were going to have, the spell kicked in big time.

Back at Giles she, and Spike had been sparring back, and forth verbally, driving Giles up the wall, and he retreated to the bathroom. When Giles had come out he had found Spike proposing to Buffy. It had shocked her mentor completely. Though it had never felt like a spell to her. It had felt so right and natural, like all the barriers between them were finally down. The spell had only been about marriage—_not love_. She had to admit that was what they were both feeling, and able finally to express to one another. Kissing him, being in his arms felt totally right, and all so wonderful. Giles had tried to tell them both it was a spell, but neither of them had cared, and weren´t in any way anxious to have it end. Though they did want to reverse the spell on Giles´ blindness so she had left the house to go get supplies for a general reversal spell. 

On the way she had run into Riley, and told him she was getting married. He was stunned. The spell must have had some truth elements in it because she could still remember telling him, "I know! It's crazy! I mean, we fought for all these years, and then.. Sometimes you just look at someone, and you know.. You know? I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other." 

Her heart was telling her what her conscious mind, and logic wouldn´t let her accept or acknowledge that deep down, even then she was in love with Spike, and he was in love with her. She admitted that she didn´t like him, but she did love him. Though that was more about not liking what he did, and said. The love that she felt was deeper, and went beyond the surface. It was the primal attraction they felt towards one another, the way they were matched set on every level--way beyond anything she had had with Angel. When Willow undid the spell and things were set back the way they had been, she wondered what would have happened if they hadn´t had an audience watching them? Would everything have still gone on the same way if they had been able to talk about it? She would never know.

The walls had immediately gone up on both sides. The searing nastiness of their mutual verbal sparring intensified. Neither could look the other in the eyes for weeks afterward, nor was the subject ever brought up, not even in jest by either. She had also warned her friends never to speak of it too. Despite the silence on the subject, the memories, and feelings remained as did the regrets. Secretly she longed for that closeness to him again, wanting it all to happen again without any spell compelling them.

On the outside it seemed like they both went through mutual intense denial of what had happened. Their verbal sparring got worse, and worse over the months, especially after Riley entered the picture as a serious boyfriend. The closer she got to Riley the more snarly, and nasty Spike got. It didn´t help that Riley was part of the Initative either, and had been responsible for Spike´s chip. Spike also tried to distance himself from the Scoobies once he was deemed safe enough to be allowed to run around loose, finding a crypt to live in in one of the cemeteries. Up to her seriously dating Riley, Spike had been sort of willing to help the group—_afterwards no_. Since she was caught up with the Initative and Riley she didn´t notice that the two events were related to Spike´s noncooperative attitudes, nor had anyone else. She could now understand it had been jealousy more than anything else that had motivated Spike´s actions with Adam, though in the end he had had a change of heart, and come back over to their side when it mattered.

That summer had been interesting. After the earlier year´s events it was relatively quiet Hellmouth wise. No big nasties rose, just the usual minor demons, and vampires. It was like the hot summer weather was making them all lay low, or else they moved to less slayer intensive areas. The best description of her, and Spike´s interactions was that they both practiced mutual avoidance as much as possible whenever she was patrolling. As every time they did met their eyes shot daggers at each other, and even the Scoobies, and Riley cringed at the insults that each threw the other. If they got into actual physical fights it was like watching some sort of bizarre dance, or at least that is what Buffy was told by her friends. In the end Spike would slink off into the darkness. Somehow she never managed to stake him no matter how close she came to it. Or how much he begged for her to do it. Especially if he begged for it the fight would stop immediately.

Though she never told anyone about a number of very strange encounters with him when she had gone out alone late at night because she couldn´t sleep. Most of those times she had run into a very, very drunk Spike. She had even poured him into his crypt more than a few times then asked herself why she had, except she was a nice person. There were a few times she could swear he wasn´t as drunk as he made out to be. Especially, when he had _accidentally´_ copped a feel, or made very lewd suggestions to her. 

Then there was the time they had fallen down together in the cemetery when she was taking him home, with him on top of her. She been alone when she had run into him at the Bronze. He had been drinking heavily, and could barely stand up. She suggested he go home. He snarled at her saying it was all her fault, which she had no idea what he was talking about, then he passed out falling to the floor. Embarrassed because he had made a scene, and not really wanting to leave him there, she decided to take him home. Just as they got to the cemetery he woke up, and tired to walk on his on with no success. She had gotten him this far so she felt like she might as well take him the rest of the way. Then he tripped over something, and they fell down together in a heap. She was very conscious of his body lying on top of hers, and that their closeness was starting to get him aroused as evidenced by the hard lump in his pants poking into her stomach

He laughingly wouldn´t let her up, and she couldn´t get him to move. Then he decided to tickle her as he always wanted to know if the slayer was ticklish. She found out he was ticklish too, until they were both gasping from laughing so hard. She became aware of him, his body pressing against hers, and how very good it felt. Suddenly, they had looked seriously at one another as if really seeing one another for the first time. The bright moonlight had made him seem like his features were sculpted out of pure marble. She really hadn´t noticed how beautiful, and sexy he really was. His expression was hidden in shadows, but she could feel the intensity of his gaze, and his desire for her. It was like all the world had fallen away, and there was only just them, and the hot summer´s night. Then he had bent his head down, and kissed her—_really kissed her_. He had expected her to protest, but she didn´t. She met his lips with her own, letting him kiss her, and kissing him back-- _willing losing herself in him _because it felt so good, and so right once again. The memories of their engagement coming back to both of them full force. 

In hindsight her only excuse was that she had sort of _let´_ Spike make out with her because she had had a fight with Riley at the Bronze shortly before her patrol. Losing herself in kissing him she found that Spike made her tingle all over in ways that Riley never did, and not even Angel had. It would have gotten very out of control if they hadn´t heard Xander, and Anya looking for her. After they jumped apart before her friends found them, she had hastily put herself back together. Spike had just looked at her with sad longing in his eyes, wishing that she would come with him, and finish what they had started, but she shook her head no, and motioned him to leave before her friends showed up. Reluctantly, he did, vanishing into the night, while she composed herself. She put her rumpled looks down to a fight with vamps to Xander´s worried eyes and inquiries. But all the way home she felt Spike following them, and it was with great effort that she made herself go inside, and go to bed alone. From that point on she did not patrol alone, or if she felt him near she went out of her way to avoid him. 

That night, too, was the point that she began distancing herself from Riley unconsciously. Being with Spike had begun to make her really question her relationship with Riley. She felt very guilty about having had enjoyed being with the vampire again. She hadn´t had to hold back, or worry about breaking him. He met her passion equally on all levels. Riley couldn´t, even with his super enhancements. Plus he wasn´t that imaginative, or willing to experiment. He got off, but there were many nights when she didn´t, or it was just okay, with no fireworks or sense of real fulfillment. But Riley was her boyfriend, and she felt guilty about cheating on him with a vampire, and especially with Spike because what did that say about her? That meant she wasn´t normal, and couldn´t have a normal life. She refused to accept that, and held on to Riley more determinedly, even though she didn´t really love him. To her, not having him would be worse, and show the world she was a failure with normal relationships. Since she had chosen Riley over him again, Spike went back to being snarly, and nasty, and so did she.

If that summer´s night with Spike had put a wide crack in her relationship with Riley, Dracula showing up had spread it apart further, especially after he bit her and she drank his blood too. Curiously enough, Spike never made any comments about it. He no doubt knew, since he seemed to know everything she did. Still he kept quiet. Though Riley never did about it. Dracula´s biting her, and her drinking his blood was the topic of several heated fights because he could never understand what it was to be her. Nor could he really understand her friends, and the way they fought demons and vampires. Their laid back to his eyes approach to demon hunting galled him because they weren´t being _professional, or serious enough_ on patrols. Her friends, and her methods were another source of on going fights too.

Then Riley wanted her to himself, and for her to give up her sacred duties, and go move elsewhere to have the nice normal life she couldn´t have. He just couldn´t accept that her life, and destiny was set. There was no escape from it except death at an early age. He kept talking about marriage and kids, and she refused to discuss it at all. She had finally accepted that her life was going to be short, and there was no way she was going to have kids, nor could she bring any into her world.

Then around time of Dracula she suddenly had a sister, literally out of nowhere, but no one knew that. Except her slayer senses told her something was very wrong with her world. She discovered the truth from the dying monk, that her seeming human sister was some sort of mystical energy, a key to open dimensions entrusted to her for safe keeping from the Hell Goddess--_Glory_. Her already strange life got stranger as Dawn seemed like she had always been there, a part of her life and her friends lives. Finally, she accepted Dawn as part of her life, but it wasn´t easy. Suddenly her mother was sick with headaches and dizziness all the time. It was a brain tumor requiring an operation, and she felt completely lost as this was nothing she could fight or put right.

Her worrying over her mom, Dawn, school, Riley, and being a slayer caused her to be careless one night and a vamp almost got her. Not finding any useful information in the Watcher´s journal she sought out the only person she knew that was still around after a slayer had been killed—Spike. Up to this point they had done their best to avoid one another, or she had tried to. He on the other hand had taken to following her around and lurking outside her house. To anyone watching it would have appeared that they were on a date at the Bronze. For her it was business, for him—he was thoroughly enjoying having her undivided attention. This was the first time she had really wanted to listen to what he had to say, once she got past the layers of bull he was also saying too. She always felt like she only had got part of the story about his being turned. Though she might have learned more from him if she hadn´t been so impatient. He did tell her what she had wanted to know, but the knowledge of why the other slayers had lost shook her to her core even though she tried to hide the fact from him. He still saw through her. She could never really hide anything from him. He said that all they had ever done was dance—and she knew he was right_—but admit that to him—**never! **_The death wish part she couldn´t accept—_wouldn´t_, nor his wanting to be there, and do her in when she did fail. Then he had tried to lean into her and kiss her, and she had freaked, because she was turned on too, but she wasn´t going to give in to him. She pushed him down, told him_ that she´d never dance with him_, and that he was beneath her as she threw his money on him, and stormed away. She knew she had hurt him worse than she ever had before, and part of her was sorry, but he had made her feel things she wasn´t ready, or able to handle.

His showing up later at her house with a loaded shotgun was not that surprising. She had sort of expected it. She was too upset over her mom going in for tests to really care anymore. She had been crying. Actually she had been having a nervous breakdown over everything in her life, including what she had learned from Spike earlier, when he appeared out the darkness invading her space. It was like her sadness dissolved his anger. She was a perfect sitting target, but instead he asked _what was wrong,´_ and _if there was anything he could do.´_ That was totally unexpected coming from him. Though he was known to do the unexpected. Then he had come over to and sat down next to her. At one point he had tried to comfort her by patting her on the back. She was too shocked to say a word and let him. Later she had told him what was going on. He had looked sad, and worried like he really did care what happened to her mom. Sometime during the night she had fallen asleep on his shoulder, his arms around her as she cried herself out. He stayed with her all night, and she let him crash downstairs in her basement because it was too late for him get home safely. That was how Riley found him going through her things at her house when he stopped by to see her. Luckily, Riley never closely questioned either her, or Spike on how the vampire had gotten in during the daytime. But Spike being around, having free reign to her house and her defending the vampire was getting to the ex-soldier, and had been.

She should have seen it coming when Spike showed her the ugly truth of what Riley had been up to. Seeing Riley laying in that filthy place naked with a skanky female vamp sucking on his arm just blew her away. Even Spike had looked totally disgusted. Like that was lower than even he would stoop to do. But she misunderstood that Spike had showed her what Riley was up to out of respect for her, and not to hurt her. She just couldn´t see it that way, and jumped all over him because she was hurt, and embarrassed._ It **hadn´t**—**couldn´t** sink in that the vampire did care about her._ She just saw it as another petty revenge on his part since he couldn´t hurt her physically, he could get to her emotionally and mentally. Then Riley had left and there was this big gapping hole in her life. She had been rejected again. He had left, just like her dad, and Angel. She just wasn´t good enough or worthy of their love. The snarly factor to Spike increased because he was still there and wouldn´t leave. The one person she wanted out of her life just wouldn´t go.

He kept hanging around her and the Scoobies. His helping at the Bronze after the Troll had almost demolished it threw her totally off balance. Spike helping did not compute nor his wanting credit for not feeding. Either he was nuts, or she was. Then she had to deal with the Watcher´s Council. She couldn´t believe that they had found out about him being involved with her and had actually gone to interview him. She had bet that was a first in their books—a nonsouled vampire, especially him, willing to help a slayer. When Glory showed up he was they only one she could think of that had a chance of protecting her family, and holding his own against the hellbitch. 

She had been furious at him for letting her little sister find out that she was the Key, and the two of them breaking into the shop. Admittingly, she hadn´t clued him in on Dawn´s secret on purpose out of fear of what he´d do with the information. Now that he knew that had been another worry for her. Now Dawn thought he was cool and wanted to hang out with him. She really didn´t need that. Not that it wasn´t safe for Dawn to be with Spike it just meant she had to run into him more often. When Dawn told her that Spike was totally in love with her, her worse suspicions, and fears were realized. She really wanted to disbelieve her sister but she couldn´t, too many weird thing were clicking into place. She just didn´t know what to do about it because she couldn´t encourage him, not after what she went through with Angel and not to mention the whole mortal enemies and death threats they had slung back and forth for years. No Spike, no way. She just hoped Dawn was wrong, and it was something that would just blow over.

He was there at her house talking with her mom and Dawn when she came home from checking out the train massacre scene. He told her he had information and would take her to where the vamps who supposedly did it hung out. Nervously she accepted since he seemed all business like about it. So she dismissed Dawn´s warnings. Sitting in the car waiting for the vamps to show had been totally weird. She could just tell something was up with him, but she was afraid to find out what exactly. Sometimes ignorance was bliss. In the warehouse when it had dawned on her that the stake out wasn´t a stake out, but some sort of weird date. Finally, she had asked him point blank, "what is this? The late night stake out, the bogus suspects, the flask... Is this a date?"

She had been hoping he would deny it, instead he had answered her flustered at being found out, "A -? Please... A date. You're completely off your bird. I mean...Do you want it to be?"

She freely admitted to freaking right then and there. Dawn had warned her he was in love with her, and now all the really odd, and weird behavior she had been trying to ignore from him in recent months made total sense finally. She remembered asking him if he was out of his mind.

He had just gotten serious, and a bit sad as he answered, "It's not so unusual. Two people. In the workplace... Feelings develop..."

She had denied it, shaking her head, and backing away from him. "No! Feelings do not develop. No feelings!"

He had tried to move closer to her and she kept backing as he told her, "You can't deny it. There's something between us."

He was scaring her now. She so did not need to hear this from him. She had finally accepted him as a sort of friend, and ally, now he wanted to really complicate things between them with this? She had to stop this right now. Find some way to defuse this, and calm down her own racing heart that was almost wanting to hear what he had to say, and even secretly thrilled it was true. But she couldn´t give in to him. Not her damn mortal enemy. No matter how good looking he was, and how lonely they both were. She had to nip this in the bud now, so she yelled back at him, "Loathing. Disgust-"

"Heat. Desire-," was his comeback, and she tried not to see the words reflected in his eyes, or feel those words wrap around her beginning to weaken her resolve.

Desperate now, she had told him, "Please. You're a vampire, Spike!"

"Angel was a vampire," he countered, not will to give up.

He would have to use that argument, just like Dawn had earlier. "Angel had a soul. He was good."

Spike sighed, frustrated, "Angel had a soul. He was good," he tried to tell her, wanting to tell her he had been changing for her for months.

Equally as frustrated she yelled back at him, "You mean the chip? That's not change. That's just holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison-," she added, wanting to believe it was so, because otherwise if she didn´t .no, she couldn´t let herself fall in love with him—not another vampire—. She couldn´t go through that pain again.

He shook his head at her logic ,or lack of it, trying to reach her, break through to her. "Women marry them all the time! But I'm notlike that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if it means turning my back on the whole evil thing-," he told her putting all his cards out on the table.

This was getting way too deep, and his words were getting to her, but she couldn´t let them or him win. So she cut him off before he could say more, "Stop. You don't mean this. You don't even know what... feelings are."

Spike had looked back at her hurt, and pained that she didn´t think he had any feelings, "I damn well do. I lie awake every night."

She had just shook her head, denying it, not wanting to hear any more. "you sleep during the day!" she had protested.

"Yeah, but -- You're missing the point. This is real, here. I lov-," he tried to say.

She had gotten desperate at that point and quickly cut him off before she could hear him tell her that he loved her. Then it would be real. He would be real, and she didn´t want either of those possibilities to be real. "DON'T! ...say...don't," she told him as she moved quickly to the door to get away from this conversation she did not want to have and from him before he did break down her resistance. "I´m going," she told him already feeling the waves of hurt and pain coming off of him.

He tried to stop her, "Come on. We need to-," he begged.

She couldn´t look at him, couldn´t look into those eyes of his. "We don't need to do anything. There is no we. Understand?" she told him cutting him off again as she moved around hi s defeated figure, and heads out the door.

He tries to stop her, "Buffy-,"

She barely heard him as she took off in a run from the warehouse, her eyes full of tears, alternating between anger and sadness for both of them. What he did she after she left she doesn´t know, doesn´t wan to know. She just wanted the night to be over, done with as she ran through the deserted streets to her house.

When she got home she asked Willow to come over, and she told her and her mom what had happened at the warehouse. It freaked them out and they told her she had to nip it in the bud before the bud nipped her. She just wanted avoid him and let the mess blow over while she thought of a way to handle this. But her mom, and Willow insisted that she go talk to him that night, and get it settled once and for all. That was the last thing she wanted to do, and felt like it was going to be a super mistake. She didn´t want them to know she did actually have feelings for him, and if he got her alone again she would break down, and admit it to him and to herself. She had only finally accepted him as a friend, and could tolerate him sort of. She wasn´t ready to let her barriers down with him yet. It was just too soon after Riley and she was starting to get sort of interested in Ben from the hospital who looked nice and normal and most importantly safe. 

Pushed into it, she reluctantly went to his crypt. He was gone when she got there and he had left the entrance to his lower chambers open so she went looking for him only to come upon the shrine he had built about her. It creeped her out as she recognized some of Angel´s drawings of her on it. He had saved Angel´s work—_why, and how long had this fixation of his been really going on?_ Then there were the missing photos and other things she had been wondering where they had vanished to. She had backed away appalled and scared only to run right into him. He was cocky and sure of himself. She hadn´t planned on that. She was at a loss for words for this was far serious than she had thought. Then Drusilla had appeared, and told her that Spike was feeding again. Her first thought was that the chip was out, and they were all in danger. The next thing she knew he had used a cattle prod on her and she was knocked unconscious. When she woke up she was in chains and so was Drusilla—at least that was a welcome relief. But he was still going on about how much he loved her and they started arguing about it.

"Spike, the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious," she told him staring up angrily at him. He was first surprised, then hurt and the hurt changing to anger on his still handsome face. She had felt a momentary tinge of pity at her harsh words as she saw the pain, and hurt in the dark blue depths of his eyes, but what did he expect? Did he expect her to be all melting, and gushing with love when he had stunned her with a cattle prod then chained her up in the catacombs underneath his crypt? Dru might have been getting all hot, and bothered by being chained, but it made her furious. The situation had only served to reinforce her beyond low opinions of him, and his disillusions of love he supposedly felt for her. 

Then after she fought Dru, and the bitch left, she had stormed out of his crypt. But no, he just had to follow her home trying to talk, and apologize all the way there. Dense much? She remembered him saying _she couldn´t walk away from this.´ _And then her stopping, and yelling at him that he couldn´t understand what a punch in the nose meant—_moron!_ He could only just see as a simple lover´s spat—_God what an idiot!_ He couldn´t understand when she told him she wanted him out of her life, off the planet—_just away period from her._ What was it going to take to get through to him?

But he wouldn´t give up, and kept talking to her as she spun away from him, and stalked determinedly to the house "No. It's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real," he told her as she entered her house with him on her heels. "And there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life. You can't just shut me out." She was grimly amused at the expression on his face as he bounced off the restored vampire barrier, and she shut the door in his face. But his words stuck with her, had already gotten under her skin, and haunted her dreams all that night

She went through the next day in a very foul mood, pissed that he had the audacity to be in love with her, and to really believe that there was something between them. Her friend´s and Giles´ reactions to Spike being in love with her hadn´t helped. Maybe if she hadn´t been so angry, and have let the vampire get under her skin already it would have blown over more quietly. Then he showed up at the Spring Break party at the Bronze. People or not she wanted to kill him right there when he asked her if she was "trolling for her next ex, and if she didn´t like him there she could put her hands on his tight, hot body, and make him." He was all so dead meat in her blazing eyes as she glared back at him.

His self preservation instincts must have kicked in because he left, though not far. Then she saw Ben and began talking to him and she watched as Spike tried to pick up a stunning brunette that she didn´t know. He was trying to make her jealous, and damn him it was working. It shouldn´t have been. Why should she have even cared, but she had and shot daggers at them which Spike did see. The next thing she knew the girl had picked Spike up, and thrown him out the front window because he had suggested something sexual to her. She had never laughed so hard at the mortified vampire who slunk off into the night. She didn´t see too much of him after that because she was tracking down the robot girl and her creator. Though she did hear that Giles banned him from the shop.

Next her mom died, and all thoughts of everything including Glory, or Spike problems vanished from her mind in her overwhelming grief. She did hear from Willow that Spike had tried to come by the house with flowers for Joyce, but that he and Xander had gotten into it, and the vampire had left. She never got a straight answer from Dawn how she got the egg used in her spell to bring their mom back. Part of her was afraid to find out the truth, and that maybe Spike had had something to do with it because Giles´ didn´t have anything like the Ghora demon´s egg at the shop, and he couldn´t get any answers out of Dawn either. She let the incident pass as she tried to adjust to life without her mom and trying to raise Dawn by herself. She had to drop out school and was working at the gallery doing her mom´s old job. Giles was helping too both financially, and advice wise otherwise she never would have made it. Even though life had seemed back to normal they still had the Glory problem hanging over their head and no closer to any answers about the Goddess or how to fight her. She thought if she could be a better slayer then that would help. Giles suggested a vision quest and she agreed to try it. They went off to the desert leaving Dawn with the gang.

In the meantime, unknown to the group Spike had had that idiot Warren create a robot in her image. She was both appalled, and secretly flattered when she met the robot after her return. She was not happy he had had it built or that it was fully functional, nor could her friends not tell it wasn´t her. That Spike, and the robot had had sex in the cemetery floored her. He had been that desperate to love her, and a substitute was better than nothing? It was sick. It was scary, and in a way showed he did really care, and knew he didn´t have a chance with the real her. But finding out that Spike had Glory sent cold chills down her on a number of levels, first he knew Dawn´s secret, two the goddess really was going after her friends, and three Glory could kill him before she had a chance to. 

He had managed to escape from the goddess just before they got in. In complete shock she stared down at him sprawled on the floor of the apartment building. He had been tortured to within an inch of his unlife. If the goddess had gotten the information out of him it had not been easily or willingly. She just couldn´t deal with him so she let Xander and Giles have the honors while she, and the rest of the group took the shorted out robot back to the shop. When the guys returned she found out that they couldn´t get anything out of Spike so she left to talk to him. Changing into the robot's clothes and pretending that she was the robot she went to find out if Spike had betrayed Dawn and them. 

He was so badly injured it broke her heart to look at him all broken, bleeding, and bruised on that stone slab he slept on. Somehow he managed to wake up enough to talk to her thinking she was the robot. She pretended to be the robot volunteering to tell Glory who the key was. He had sat up angrily telling her, "You can't ever Glory never finds out. Full stop." That confused her. She really hadn´t expected that out of him. She had to ask why. He came back with, "Buffy - the other the not-as-pleasant Buffy. Something happened to Dawn it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her being in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

She was floored. She knew he meant every word of what he was saying. He had cared enough about her, and Dawn to lay down his life, and endure Glory´s torture for them even though he knew she hated his guts and wouldn´t return his love. He did really love her. It wasn´t just a sick obsession. It was really for real. Then she did something totally unexpected for both of them—she kissed him gently on the lips. Half way through he realized that she wasn´t the robot, but herself, and he drew back, and looked at her in amazement, and if not just a little bit confused, and embarrassed.

She let him know that she was not at all happy about the robot, and what he had did with it, but that what he did do to protect her and Dawn did count. His actions were real, and that she wouldn´t forget about it. After that things did improve between them. She now fully trusted Dawn with him, and made the others accept him back as part of the group which was not an easy task. A couple of days later, Glory got a hold of Tara and brain sucked her, though somehow she managed not to tell Glory what she wanted. Though Glory did find Tara again and came when she had Dawn with her, tearing the apartment´s walls down. Tara could now see Dawn as the key and blurted out. She grabbed Dawn, and ran for their lives. They managed to get away when a truck ran over the Goddess, but just barely. In high panic mode the group made plans to get out of town because none of them were safe now. While everyone was packing she went to see Spike. She couldn´t leave him behind, and he knew how to leave town in a hurry. She didn´t question too closely where he found the ancient RV he showed up with. Though she wished he had just gotten a simple van instead. Though if they had to sleep, and camp out with this large of a group maybe the RV wasn´t that bad.

Giles and Xander objected to Spike, but she defended him, surprising the group, telling them he was going with them as_ he was the only other person strong enough to fight the goddess_, and _to just deal with it_. An uncomfortable truce was reached, and he was grudgingly accepted. He proved his worth during the fight with the knights, and later at the gas station where they had to hole up. He could work with everyone if given a chance. Mostly he watched both hers, and Dawn´s backs and kept trying to talk her into leaving everyone, and just going with Dawn. In hindsight she should have. She still didn´t forgive herself for bringing Glory into their midst. How was she to know that Ben and Glory were the same? Ben was the only one she could think of to save Giles without involving EMS or the police. They didn´t need the cops in on this, and trying to explain this mess. That still would not solve their problems, and it would have endangered more people.

Glory had Dawn-- _she had failed._ They all had failed to protect the girl. Now she had the knowledge of what the Key was going to be used to do. The only way to stop the gates between dimensions all opening at once destroying everything was to kill her sister. She didn´t even remember collapsing, and shutting down. Her last memory was of seeing all the dead knights sprawled out like broken dolls on the ground. That was what she was still remembering, and not wanting to go back and face. What she still had to face. Now she was being told that she would get the knowledge she needed to fight Glory—that she _wouldn't have to_ kill her sister to keep all the fabric of reality from disintegrating into pure chaos when Dawn´s power, and blood keyed the gateway to Glory´s world open. She prayed this was all true, and not some wishful thinking of her subconscious making her believe what she was experiencing now was true.

She had to hold out hope that everything that as the William of this time had told her_ was_ really the way it was going to happen, even if it did mean she would lose some of her friends during the final battle. This was a much happier ending for all concerned considering the alternatives that could have happened. They all could have died including herself, Dawn, Spike, and all of the Scoobies and the world, reality as they had known no longer existed. 

End Part 5  
*************************************************************************  
Part 6

Buffy woke up from her dreams disorientated for a moment, trying to figure out where she was, and how she had gotten there. She felt like she should be waking up in a different place, and that it was very urgent that she do so. She closed her eyes and tried to get back but somehow she couldn´t make the journey. She had to be here in this now. When it was time she would be returned, she was reassured by a not quite voice in her head. She sighed, frustrated at being manipulated by the Powers That Be again, and opened her eyes again to focus on her surroundings. The bed was strange as was the room because it was altered a lot from when it had been her mother´s room. Then she felt her unborn daughter kicking her hard, and she remembered everything. Seeing a large rounded stomach in place of her usually flat one was disconcerting still. She placed a hand on top of her stomach, and felt a small foot pressed up against her hand from the other side. She was really pregnant in this future.

Getting up out of the bed to go pee was a real educational experience. It took a bit of maneuvering to sit up from her being flat on her back. She waddled into the bathroom finally. She wasn´t sure how far along she was, but it didn´t appear like she had that long to wait. She had no idea what was normal or not for this body or for being pregnant at this stage. She had a rough idea of the stages of pregnancy from health classes and books, but since it wasn´t something that was going to be happening to her she really didn´t follow up on it. Now she wished she had. What was bothering her was all the low level pains in her lower back like cramps almost, but oddly different. Then she had noticed spotting, but it didn´t seem serious, and it stopped. 

Her attention was diverted by a knock on the bathroom door and Will´s voice asking her if everything was okay. Embarrassed, she answered that she was okay and told him that she´d be down in a couple of minutes after she got dressed. She heard something about her breakfast being ready and he´d see her down there. He left, and she came out of the bathroom. She needed to get herself together before she faced him. Going through the closet she found a not too unflattering dark blue calico dress to wear. It was good to note her future self still had fairly good taste in clothes. Not that anything ever made a pregnant woman look that great. Throwing some makeup on, and fixing her hair, she at least looked presentable. She found a low pair of moccasin looking slip ons to wear, and finally made her way downstairs.

Desiree and Destry were already at the table eating their breakfast. They looked up, and said hi to her, then went back to eating their cereal. Seeing Will in a nice black casual suit, paisley print shirt, and maroon tie sort of threw her. She had forgotten he still had to go teach at the University. As she came into the room, he got up, and helped her sit down. It was still hard getting used to him, and not thinking he was her Spike, or of her Spike being a gentleman under all the layers of crude he used with her. She had to smile a little at the thought, and he raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

"Something funny?" he asked, looking at her puzzled while he settled back in his chair, and finished eating his eggs.

"Just everything. I was thinking about my Spike, and probably fainting if he pulled a chair out for me like you just did," she replied taking a sip of her orange juice. She was amazed at the breakfast of eggs, and bacon that sat before her. 

"You about did when I opened that door at the warehouse for you," Will reminded her with a happy glint in his eyes.

"You remember that?" Buffy asked, surprised.

He shrugged, "why shouldn´t I? It happened. I wanted to treat you like a lady, but everytime I tried you went totally weird, or ballastic on me so I backed off. It took you awhile to see that I could be a gentleman, and did have some manners. Just because I was once a vam—err, different doesn´t mean I didn´t know how to act. I just hadn´t had any occasion to show you, or for you to accept a different me," he smiled, looking over his coffee at her pointedly.

Buffy looked thoughtfully for a moment, and then replied, "yeah, I see your point. I do tend to be a bit close minded, and look at most things rather black and whitely. I just wasn´t accepting your feelings at that point in time. Riley hadn´t been gone that long, and we were still sort of enemies," she replied being careful of what she was saying because of the kids listening.

"Only because you made us so. I was trying to change that, but you weren´t ready to listen. I still remembered Willow´s spell and the summer, but you seemed to want to forget any of it had ever happened. It hurt, but I accepted that you must have had your reasons for being the way you were," he told her truthfully.

She blushed embarrassed, "I did, but I´ll tell you why later. Evidently, you and I must not have talked about this?" she asked, wondering, how her future self and Will were doing.

"Not really. We had too much going on after the battle, with me getting used to being normal to talk on some things. I´d be interested in your closer perspective," Will told her with something unreadable in his eyes.

"Okay, I just hope I won´t be messing anything up. This is her life, not mine," she reminded him.

"I can´t see how, since it´s both you just different a little," he said, looking at her thoughtfully. "how did you sleep by the way?" he asked changing the subject.

"Okay, I guess. I had lots of dreams, and thinking to do. It took me a moment to remember where and when I was, then to figure out how to get out of bed. How far along am I?" she asked.

"I forgot to tell you didn´t I—sorry. You´re about eight and half months, not long to go now. Something´s not the matter is it?" he asked worriedly.

"No," she lied sort of. She wasn´t sure if right then was the time to tell him about her cramps or the spotting, or if they were anything to worry about. "I´m just trying to make sure I return this body on the same condition I found it. And I don´t know that much about being pregnant. It was a subject I sort of avoided because it wasn´t going to happen," she said with a sigh as she finished her food.

"I think we sort of proved that wrong," Will smiled at her with a twinkle in his eyes, and for a moment she could see her Spike teasing her, and it made her catch her breath. Now if her Spike was only half as nice.

Recovering quickly she asked, "so we are taking the kids to their daycare, and then you are dropping me off at the shop?"

"Yes, that is the plan. I´ll be back a little after two when my last class is over. I am not sure when Willow and Faith are getting in. Hopefully, I´ll be there when they arrive, and Giles did actually called them to let them know that you are not your usual self instead of forgetting it. Sometimes I really think he is going senile, the old sod," he said getting up, and gathering up their dishes to rinse them, and put them in the kitchen sink.

Buffy got up too, and just stayed out of way while the kids, and Will went through their normal routines. The kids were very quiet this morning, and kept looking at her with odd expressions. They had accepted that a stranger was now their mother, though not happily as the conversations between their father and this other mommy were confusing. It was clear that Will had had a talk with his children before she had come downstairs. They were more distant than they had been yesterday, and clung to their father for comfort and familiarity. She could see them wanting to say things to her , then stopping themselves. It was clear they weren´t even sure what to call her because she really wasn´t their mom, and they knew it on several levels.

She did help Destry with his coat, and he just looked at her with bright blue solemn eyes, just a shade lighter than his father´s. His three year old lip was quivering as he asked, "when is my Mommy coming home? I miss her."

"Soon, Destry, I promise. I won´t stay any longer than I have to. She´s okay, she´s with my friends from where I came. Can you put up with me for just a little longer?" Buffy asked him.

He nodded, his golden brown curls fluttering. "I guess so," he replied with a ghost of a smile as she finished zipping his jacket. Then he went out the door following his sister out to the SRV. 

Will had watched the exchange thoughtfully, and helped her straighten back up. "They´ll be okay. They´re pretty tough, adjustable kids considering everything. They know this is just temporary and their Momma will be back soon," he reassured her as he helped her with her coat since she was finding it wasn´t that easy to get on.

"And I will get back won´t I? I´m not going get stuck here am I? I already feel so bad about this," she told him.

"Buffy, we all will make sure you get home. But it´s not so bad here is it?" he asked her, his eyes searching hers.

"No, not bad—it´s just strange, and very confusing. I am still worrying about Dawn, and what Glory is doing with her, and if Giles is all right. All of it. That is my world, my time, my moment, not this. My mind is still on the battle and taking care of everyone, even you," she reassured him as he picked up his briefcase and one of the kid´s forgotten backpacks on the way to the door.

That stopped him for a moment, and he looked down at her. In his eyes she could see her Spike and feel him, not Will talking to her. "Even me? I´m touched, slayer. It didn´t look like you were even noticing me once old Ben showed up. Dawn, and Willow were fussing over my hands. Even Anya, and Xander came, and took a looksee, asking me if I needed anything. But all I got out of you was that I´d heal—_real bloody comforting that was,_" he said, a touch of remembered pain in his eyes as they stood in the door before going out.

"Ohh," she replied. "I just barely remember. I´m sorry. I just had too much to deal with all at once. Even right now what that damned General Gregor told us is still getting to me. That I have to kill my sister, or let the universe be destroyed. This isn´t a vacation. I´m still there, or at least part of me is there. And I can´t forget what is happening. If I hurt your feelings, I´m sorry, but after everything you, and I had been through, and did to one another, _did you think I could just suddenly forgive you?_" Buffy asked him point blank.

Will´s eyes flashed fire for a moment then stilled as he made himself calm down enough to answer her. "No, not really, but a bit of compassion wouldn´t have bloody hurt you after I saved your life when that sword went down through the bloody roof. I bleed for you, and you didn´t even care—_that´s what hurts,_" he said turning his eyes from her, and fighting the tears that threatened to come. "No, you aren´t my wife, at least she´s grown a heart—_you haven´t yet_," he said, and walked out the door leaving her standing there dumbfounded at his harsh words. "Come on, get in the car," he yelled back at her as he helped the waiting kids get in, and buckled them into their seats.

Buffy almost turned, and fled up the stairs, but she bit back her anger, and her hurt, determined to see this mess through. Closing the door she walked the short distance to the driveway and got into the car on her own. Will got in and fixed his straps before starting the car. She couldn´t even look at him now and she stared resolutely straight ahead refusing to accept or acknowledge his apology. In silence they drove to the children´s daycare. She told them both goodbye and to have a good day, but to him not a word. She waited in the car while he took them in.

Will tried to talk to her repeatedly, but she refused to answer or acknowledge him. When they got to the shop she got out on her own, refusing his help or to look at him. Finally, he gave up, and left as soon as she was let into the shop by Anya.

"Gee, what crawled up you? Bad night?" the former demon asked seeing Buffy´s angry scowl. 

"I don´t want to talk about it," Buffy replied trying not to discuss her problems with Spike´s present, past or future.

"Will, huh? Too much of a trip down memory lane?" Anya pried, trying to find out what was wrong and refusing to give up as she steered Buffy over to the big study table.

Buffy finally exploded. "He said I didn´t have a heart! Am I really that cold of a bitch? Am I? Was I then?" she asked fighting back her tears.

Anya looked at her in real sympathy, and debated what to say. She really didn´t want to hurt the girl, but she did need the truth. "Yeah, you were kinda of. But it was everything that had happened to you over the years that made you draw inside yourself. That you stayed together as long as you did before breaking down blew Xander and me away. But you held on to yourself too much. You wouldn´t let yourself grieve, or allow anyone to really help after Riley left, and your mom died. You had to do it all, protect us all, worry about us—_not yourself._ You went around pretending you were in control, and everything was okay-_-perfect-- when it wasn´t. _You wouldn´t let any of us in, and we didn´t know what to do. Your vision trip helped you a little, but truthfully-- you needed lots of time alone to find yourself. Unfortunately, Glory decided to come after you full force after months of not doing much of anything. First she got Spike, then Tara, and finally Dawn. None of that was your fault, but you felt like it was. Even bringing Ben in to treat Giles wasn´t your fault because of the forgetting spell he, and Glory had going, but you took it personally," Anya told her.

"So that´s what it was? A forgetting spell? That´s why no one could remember his being Glory too? Gods—I really screwed up!" she said devastated by the knowledge.

"No--Buffy—**you didn´t**. No one knew, and Ben wasn´t honest with you. So don´t blame yourself. It just happened."

"But I failed to protect my sister! I promised her I would protect her, and nothing would happen to her. And look how I protected everyone—Tara got brain sucked, Giles almost got killed, and Spike, Spike got hurt again because of meand I didn´t even tell him how proud I was of him for grabbing that sword, and trying to keep you all safe in the RV when his hands were all messed up. No wonder he´s so mad at me because I was so cold to him, and he didn´t deserve it at all. I´m nothing but a joke, a big, miserable, failing joke who shouldn´t even be called a slayer," Buffy cried, not bothering to hold back the tears now as she fell into Anya´s arms, and let her hold her. "How can any of you forgive me for being such a failure?"

"Shh, you´re not a failure, just a very tired, and overwhelmed young woman. You´re only twenty, and have to suddenly be a mother to both yourself, and a sister you never had before."

"Yeah, but this happens to other people, and they don´t fall apart," Buffy said in between sniffles.

Anya shook her head sadly, and as gently as she could told her, "they aren´t the Slayer, and have Hell Goddesses after them, or have sisters that are mystical keys. Buffy, your life is not normal—_it never will be_—that is what you have to accept. You keep trying to live like a normal woman, and that is never, ever going to happen. We, as your friends have also accepted that knowing you, and being your friend means that we will never have completely normal lives—we just accept, and deal with all weirdness as best we can. That is what you have to do. Right now, where you are in your time, it seems like everything is hopeless, and that you´ve already lost. You haven´t. You won´t. You´ll make it. Yes, we will lose people close to us, but we will save all the universes, and uncounted billions of beings by what you do in the end. You are important—_you do count_, and most importantly_ you do care_, and can love because it will be love, _your love that saves us all,_" she told her. 

"Really?" asked Buffy in a shaky voice, trying to raise her head to look at Anya, and taking the tissue the former demon offered her. "I still just feel so very numb inside."

"You have love, lots of it—more than you can fully realize. You just have to open yourself up to the possibilities of it."

"Love hurts though. Every time I love I get kicked in the teeth, or the person I love leaves me. They all leave me," she answered starting to cry again.

"Spike didn´t. We didn´t. We all stayed, even Dawn. Not everyone goes away, Buffy. But love is pain, and work. But it´s also joy, and peace, warm fuzzies, children, and many happy things rolled into one."

"Gee, you didn´t mention sex one time," Buffy teased her.

"I have grown up, you know. I just thought it, not said it," Anya smiled back, not offended in the least by Buffy´s remark. "Point is, Buffy, you have to be willing to let yourself love. Wasn´t that why you sought the First Slayer to begin with?" 

"Yeah, it was, and I am still trying to understand her answer, "love will bring me to my gift. Death is my gift." I´m sorry, that doesn´t sound remotely like love to me," Buffy told her growing serious once again. "What is scaring me is that I am beginning to understand it, and I really don´t want to understand it."

"And what do you understand?"

"I have to kill my sister—_but that can´t be as supposedly she´s alive now_. She didn´t die. I´m real confused now," Buffy said in defeat.

"It will make sense when it happens—_when you go back_. You can´t be told everything otherwise it could also change it all," Anya told her cryptically. 

"Great," Buffy mumbled defeated. "So now that I´ve had this great pep talk, and cried all over you—where is everyone else?" she asked finally noticing it was only her, and Anya in the shop.

"Giles is on his way. Xander and the boys are coming in later on, and at last report Willow and Faith should be here anytime."

"But I thought they were coming this afternoon?" Buffy questioned worriedly.

"They wanted to get an early start, and they are bringing Angel too, and the kids after Giles talked to them. But I wasn´t supposed to tell you that—it was supposed to be a surprise," Anya told her, hiding her amusement at Buffy´s expression.

"Angel is coming? A human Angel now?" she asked.

"Yes, very human, and not like you remembered. He´s Faith´s husband now, and she lets everyone know it. He does love her, and they seem to be happy. Their little girl, Angelette, is gorgeous. She has the darkest eyes, and perfect dark curls, but she is spoiled rotten. Gods, that girl is a terror. She can do no wrong according to Angel. Luckily, Julian is just the opposite. He´s so sweet and easy going—a lot like Oz everyone says, since I didn´t know him that well," Anya bubbled getting up, and going back behind the counter for something. A photo book, Buffy realized as the woman came back with it, and sat it down on the table so they could both look at it.

"Wow!" Buffy exclaimed amazed at some of the early photos in the book.

It was them starting with high school when she had first moved to Sunnydale. Some pictures she recognized others she didn´t. Like there were a few of Spike, and Drusilla, and even Angel at the factory. She really wanted to know where those came from and how. Gee, vampires liked taking pictures too, she guessed. There were pictures of Miss Callender, ones of both Kendra and Faith. Lots of her, Giles, Willow, Xander, Cordy, and Oz as well as Angel. There were even some of Wesley. She saw herself and friends at school, at the Bronze, on patrol, and at home. Then there were pictures of the prom, and graduation before the Mayor transformed into his giant snakeyness. Someone had even taken a shot of all them fighting back. There were even shots of what the school looked like afterwards—_it was all really bizarre._ Then there were pictures of the gang patrolling while she was off in LA. Next was college. Lots of ones taken in the dorm, at parties, or at Giles house. There were even a couple of Spike chained in the bathtub, or tied to a chair at Giles, and a couple where she and Spike were almost nose to nose arguing. There was even one with her standing over him exasperated with a stake to his chest while he grinned up at her. 

Then Riley entered the pictures as she started dating him. He and his friends were included for a while in the photos, then his friends sort of faded away. There were no pictures of their battle with Adam. Next were the summer pictures which included beach scenes, parties, and more patrolling. She also could see how her, and Riley began drifting away from one another during that time. She was with him, yet she wasn´t with him. There wasn´t the closeness with him that was apparent in her friend´s relationships. Oddly enough there was only one shot where Spike was in it, and it had to by accident. It was at the Bronze with her dancing by herself lost in the music. Beside her Tara and Willow were dancing, along with Xander and Anya. But there was Spike at the bar watching her, his eyes looked hungry, sad, and lost as he held his beer evidently watching her. Buffy looked at the date, and it was a few days before she had made out with him.

Then suddenly Dawn started appearing in the photos, and when Buffy flipped back to the beginning of the book Dawn was there in the earlier photos when she hadn´t been before. "Huh? What is going on Anya?" Buffy had to ask.

"Giles calls it the Dawn phenomena. As long as you are looking at photos, and Dawn isn´t in them, the time line in them is as we originally remember, and went through. But once we see Dawn, or hear her name she gets included in everything like she was always there. It´s still a leftover from the spell the monks did," Anya explained.

"That´s creepy," Buffy commented with a slight shiver as she turned back to the photos book.

"Yeah, really, but as we all say this is the Hellmouth, and anything is likely to happen. Just another thing we have learned to adjust to," Anya replied with a shrug.

Buffy accepted her explaination and was glad to see all the pictures of her mom included in the book. Riley was in a lot of them, and Spike was mostly absent. If there were any of him, they were ones where he was at the Bronze in the background away from them all, just watching them. Then Riley was gone as he was gone from her life. The pictures of everyone got kind of sparse after the holidays, her birthday, and Valentine´s day. There was even a picture of her and the Buffybot standing side by side—which still creeped her out that Spike had done such a thing. It jumped from that quiet before the storm period to suddenly there were pictures of them in the desert—she guessed just before the battle with Glory. These were pictures of things that were supposed to happen, or had happened in this timeline. It was her future yet unborn and she debated whether to look at them or not for fear of somehow altering things or worse setting events in stone so they couldn´t be if they should be.

Curiosity won out though. There was a group shot probably taken by Giles as he wasn´t in it nor, was Dawn. It a night shot with all of them by a huge campfire with the ancient RV just barely visible. But there she was with Spike with his leftover fading bruises, and healing cuts from Glory´s torture just before this. She sat in front of him, his arms around her protectively, possessively, as she leaned back against him looking actually relaxed and comfortable with him. Buffy noted that she had her fingers intertwined with his, and there was a golden ring on her finger she didn´t recognize. She looked away from the photos, and saw the matching ring on her present hand now. He must have given it to her then wanting the world to know she was his, no doubt, she smiled thinking that was so typical of him. For once they both looked peaceful, content, maybe even a bit in love, and sadly happy for that brief moment that had been captured on film. 

Next to them sitting on the ground were Angel and Faith,. They both looked very happy, if not well used from their slightly tangled, messed up hair, and sort of thrown on clothes. Angel was actually smiling back mischievously at Faith who had wrapped her arms around him. Her happiness was radiating like a live thing as she looked at the camera. 

Xander, and Anya were also there looking both sad, but happy like they had said their goodbyes, and accepted whatever was to happen. Then there was a red headed Oz with a half smile on his face, his arms around both Tara, and Willow who were holding hands, their heads resting on his shoulders. Oz and Willow were looking at each other with such sadness, and regrets but the love they still had for one another was still reflected in their eyes. It was clear that Tara was still out of it, but she welcomed Oz´s embrace as much as Willow did. In the background, on the other side of the fire she could see Riley dressed in military fatigues sitting alone, cleaning a rifle. His head was down as if he knew he really was an outsider, and he really couldn´t handle the happy couples on the other side of the fire. If Cordy, Wesley, or Gunn were around she didn´t see them.

There were a few single shots of each couple, and of the individuals. It was rare that Giles took pictures so maybe this has come from one of her talks with him about the lack of information of final slayer battles. Also this would be remembrance for the survivors if there were any, she could see herself thinking. 

There was one shot of Riley, and Spike talking, or maybe arguing since they both had tight, clinched fists, and seemed like they wanted to kill one another. She was looking on with her arms folded glaring at the posturing males disgustedly. It didn´t take a mindreader to see that what ever was being said was about her and Spike, and the change in their relationship. No, if Riley had come back for the battle hoping that somehow they could make up, and be together again --finding Spike had just moved in on her and they were together would not have been pleasant for any of them. 

She was even wondering how things got resolved between Angel, Spike, and her. Especially since there was a slight matter of the sire/childe bond, and Angel´s former claim to her. Since something must have been worked out as she saw a picture of a barechested Angel, and Spike standing with their arms thrown over one another grinning like idiots at both her, and Faith. 

The most telling picture of her, and Spike´s changed relationship was of them standing with her arms around his neck, and his around his waist almost touching one another, but not quite. She was grinning up at him looking positively radiant, and in love, and he was looking back at her amused, his scarred eyebrow raised a bit if he was questioning something she was saying. But the love he felt for her was clear in everything as he looked back at her. Even she had to admit that they did look good together. She didn´t look lost in his arms like she always did with either Angel, or Riley who were both taller, and more massive than Spike.

She was going to flip the page and look at more of her future life when then bell above the door jingled as people entered the shop. Buffy and Anya turned to see Giles come in followed by an older looking, not so thin Faith dressed in too tight black jeans, a tan T-shirt, and black demin jacket looking very business like. Her dark hair was cropped short into a mass of short curls, but nicely styled and cut. She was wearing more makeup, and sported a lot of flashy, expensive looking jewelry. She really looked the full blown biker babe image she had tried to have in her younger years. Nor had she lost any of her swagger, or the attitude that went with it.

Behind her came Willow in a long, dark, multicolored gypsy styled dress slowly moving forward into the shop in an electric wheel chair. She wore a purple scarf wrapped around her head like a turban, her still bright red hair spilling out in long ringlets over her amulets, and jewelry. Her familiar face was set with a sour expression as she beheld Buffy, and then she quickly looked away from her to look back at the door of the shop which being held open by a young red haired boy, and a smaller dark haired girl. Behind them came a very different, older Angel than what Buffy had expected seeing. He had put on some weight around his middle, and there was the beginning of gray streaks in his longish dark hair. He was dressed very similarly to Faith as was their daughter. It was clear they wanted no one to mistake that they weren´t a family.

"Julian, Ang´, get back from the door so Angel can get in," Willow ordered the two children, and they quickly did as she asked, then they went to stand uncomfortably by their parents looking around the shop very lost, and afraid to touch anything.

Anya saw that, and told the two children, "if your parents don´t mind, you can go back, and play in the play area. There´s lots of toys and stuff," she offered hopefully.

Both kids brightened up considerably, and looked to their grown ups for permission, but mainly to Angel.

He looked down at them, and grinned, "go for it," he told them motioning them to be off with his hand. The relieved kids took off for the play area, just barely giving Buffy, and Anya a glance as they flew past only slowing down when Angel yelled at them, "and no running, and no fighting," he emphasized.

Then he directed his attention to Buffy looking her over and her huge stomach, "looks like you´re about ready to pop at anytime," he grinned at her. "Looks like _Studdly´_ is really making good on his promise to keep you barefoot, and pregnant."

Buffy raised an eyebrow, a bit back the remark she was going to make about his stomach. "Yeah, it seems so, or at least this Buffy seems to be staying that way," she shot back and sat down, her legs suddenly tired.

The group from LA shot puzzled glances back and forth then at her. Realizing that somehow they hadn´t been told she turned to Giles, "you did tell them that I´m not the Buffy from this now, but I´m from the past, didn´t you?"

Giles looked a bit embarrassed, and coughed nervously before he answered her. "I´m afraid I did get a chance to warn them. Things were a bit hectic," he apologized.

"What B, you´re not B?" Faith asked, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand what was being said.

"I am, but I´m from the past. This is the future for me. Right now I´m in a deep trance right after Glory took off with Dawn. The final battle with her hasn´t happened for me, or any of you yet," she explained.

"Ohh wow, twilight zone time again," Faith said, shaking her head, coming closer and sprawling into the nearest chair followed by the rest of the group.

"I remember," Willow said coming over in her chair, looking at her oddly, her eyes softening slightly. "I was with you. You freaked, and went into deep shock when we went outside, and saw all the dead knights Glory had killed. No one could reach you—you just weren´t there. We weren´t sure whether to move you, or not, but we had to go find Dawn, and get Giles to a hospital. We took Ben´s car and got everyone in. It was a very tight fit. We took Giles to the emergency room, Spike went to Glory´s, and Anya, Tara, me, and you went to Xander´s. Then I tried to mind meld with you. But I never saw any of this?" she questioned looking at both Buffy, and Giles for some sort of explaination.

"Yes, I have been trying to determine exactly what is going on. As Buffy did come back with knowledge to use against Glory, and that is the reason she is here. The information she needs does not yet exist in her time, only in ours," he added, only making the group more confused.

"O—kay," Faith said, shaking her head as if that would make it all make sense. "So this B before the battle and all that?"

"Yes. She has no memories of it, or what happened after she came out of her trance, though she has been told bits, and pieces of this future so she could understand the current circumstances, especially between her, and Will," Giles told them.

"It was a big shock waking up finding myself very pregnant, a kid jumping on me, and seeing Spike wandering around in the sunlight. At this point in my life I have only gotten to the tolerate him around because he´s useful status," Buffy informed them. "Getting closer to Spike is not in my game plan," she added.

"Well, it sure was in his," Faith laughed smugly, glancing at Angel who was also smiling. "Right, Babe?" she asked.

"Definitely. Though it was you, Buffy, that made the first move. He was in total shock as was everyone else when you went up, and got him in a serious lip and arm lock on the eve of the battle," Angel smirked at her. "Once he figured out that you were for real, and weren´t going to stake him, the rest was history."

Buffy looked at everyone more than a bit shocked, and embarrassed as she could never imagine herself doing such a thing under any circumstances especially in front of an obvious audience when this all supposedly happened. Even since she had been here, her opinions and feelings about Spike hadn´t radically changed enough that she could see herself breaking down, and allowing herself to make love to Spike. There was no way´ this going to happen, but if she didn´t do it none of this would happen either. It was really wiggin´ her out now.

"But Spike—me? I can´t even stand him! This has got to be some sort of dream I´m still having," she told them all, shaking her head, and looking miserable.

"B you love the guy, and he loves you. Just don´t know it yet. You´re just afraid to admit it. It´s you two, and your love that make the whole thing work," Faith told her trying to reassure the confused girl.

"But what if this really isn´t her future, and this is all a dream for her, for us?" Willow asked thoughtfully. "We all know time is fluid and there are multiple, alternative dimensions, timelines—_maybe this is one of them?_ Just like Anya, and I sent back Olaf back to the land of the Trolls, or a least some land of something, or other, and then Angel, and everyone was sent to the Host´s dimension. Why couldn´t this be something like that. A possible reality, but not the only reality as we know that the gates between all the dimensions did open for a while, and we never knew for sure what was real, or not until it sorted itself out," she finished looked seriously around at everyone, and saw comprehension on their faces.

"Creepy," Anya commented looking uncomfortably. "But then I would have my Xander, and my kids None of us would have any of this," she protested unhappily, not wanting Willow´s theory to be true at all.

"That would really be a nasty wrinkle on everything, " Giles added.

"Yeah, I sure and the Hell don´t like the idea," Angel said, reaching over and taking Faith´s hand. "Of all the possible realities, I don´t have any complaints about this."

"You all may be just peachy keen on this_ now´,_ but I lost both Oz, and Tara. I wouldn´t mind a bit of reality shuffling if that brought them back to me. Even if I could never walk again like I am now, just having them back would be heaven," Willow told them all, fighting back both anger and tears..

"So you´re saying that in order to have this future, this outcome Spike, and I have to get together before the battle?" Buffy asked a little dismayed, and inwardly nervous at the prospect of giving herself to her still mortal enemy. "Like wouldn´t I be more worried about what was happening to Dawn, battle plans, etc., than giving Spike a happy?" she growled, not being very happy all of a sudden.

"Probably, but you are being given a glimpse of the future, a fairly happy future for most of us, and for Dawn too. If you don´t get with Spike then all this may not happen. Are you sure you can risk that?" Giles asked.

  
"I—I´m not sure," Buffy replied, unsure of everything, nervously picking at a fold in her dress rather than meet anyone´s eyes.

"But maybe, doing it differently like somehow Oz, Tara, and Riley survive the battle then someone else could be the one to die instead, then the future would be completely different from what it might have been or, this. Originally, all of this revolved around Dawn´s coming into existence suddenly, and still does to a certain extent, but this also hinges on you, and somehow Spike too as it will be you two together more than anyone else that will bring down Glory, and keep total chaos from overtaking everything when the dimensional gates are opened," Willow told her.

"I just don´t know—I´ve really got to think on all of this," Buffy said getting up suddenly as she felt tears coming to her eyes. She then fled to the safety of the bathroom to cry and think. They all watched her go, but no one tried to stop her.

"So do you think she will do it?" Giles asked Willow.

"You got me, but Giles, like I said earlier I didn´t see any of this in Buffy´s head back then, so I am as confused as her," the red haired witch told him, "maybe we are just a dream after all," she added, and looked thoughtfully at the closed bathroom door wondering what was really real, and what wasn´t for her former friend.

End Part 6


End file.
